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A Mother’s Struggle with Social Anxiety and Identity Loss

A Mother’s Struggle with Social Anxiety and Identity Loss

Redefining Success | Resorting Life Balance

A Mother’s Struggle with Social Anxiety and Identity Loss

We often think of procrastination as something that shows up in obvious ways—avoiding a big project at work or putting off chores. But procrastination can appear in subtler forms, ones we might not immediately recognise as avoidance. For many, it’s not just about delaying tasks but about evading deeper, more personal issues. One such example is a mother whose entire identity has been centred around her children, and when they leave the nest, she is left feeling lost, alone, and overwhelmed by social anxiety.

This is the story of Alexia. Like many mothers, Alexia spent years focusing on her children—raising them, supporting them, and building a life around their needs. Her identity became rooted in her role as a mother, and she found meaning in this role. But once her children grew up and moved on, Alexia began to feel adrift, as if she no longer had a clear purpose. The result? Procrastination—not in the traditional sense of avoiding work, but in avoiding life itself.

“I am in a rut and avoiding everything,” she shared. “I do a lot of cleaning to avoid going to work and meeting friends. I feel more comfortable procrastinating.”

Procrastination can be a coping mechanism, a way of protecting ourselves from facing painful realities. For Alexia, the loss of her role as an active mother triggered feelings of failure and anxiety. As her children moved on, she began to feel like she had nothing left to offer. Socialising became daunting because, in her mind, she wasn’t the vibrant, engaging person she once was.

“I feel like I have nothing to give anybody or talk about, except moaning or getting upset,” she said. “Why would anyone want to be around someone negative?”

This spiral of self-doubt only deepened her isolation, feeding her anxiety. Alexia started going for walks, but even those small outings were an escape from people rather than a way to connect. “I go out occasionally for a little walk to avoid people,” she admitted.

Her procrastination wasn’t just about putting off social activities. It began to seep into other parts of her life—tasks that used to be routine started to feel overwhelming. Alexia would clean obsessively, as if the act of cleaning could distract her from the emotions she was struggling to face. Or she would turn to Netflix for comfort, finding temporary relief in the distraction, but only deepening the cycle of avoidance.

When procrastination stems from emotional pain, it can be hard to recognise at first. What starts as delaying a conversation or postponing an event can eventually become avoidance of everything—life itself. For Alexia, it wasn’t just social anxiety that held her back; it was the fear that she no longer had an identity outside of motherhood. As she watched her children move forward in their lives, she felt both proud and jealous, left wondering where she fit into the world now that her primary role had shifted.

“A big trigger of this was each of my children moving on and living their lives. They are happy, and I am part jealous,” she reflected. “My identity has been being a mum, and I didn’t develop enough about myself.”

This is a reality many mothers face: when the kids leave, who am I? If our identity has been solely tied to one role for so long, the loss of that role can feel like losing ourselves. And in that uncertainty, it’s easy to start avoiding the world, to push away the things that remind us of the parts we feel are missing.

Alexia’s story is a powerful reminder that procrastination is not always about laziness or lack of discipline. Sometimes, it’s about fear—fear of facing the world when we no longer recognise ourselves in it. It’s about the anxiety of not knowing where we fit, and the comfort we find in distracting ourselves from that pain.

But here’s the truth: we are more than one role. Alexia, like so many other mothers, has so much more to offer than she realises. Her identity is not just being a mother—it’s in her passions, her interests, her kindness, and her potential to connect with others on a deeper level. The key is in recognising that procrastination, in this case, is a signal that something deeper needs to be addressed.

When we start to face the feelings we’ve been avoiding—when we challenge the thoughts that tell us we aren’t enough—we can begin to break free from the cycle of procrastination. And in doing so, we rediscover not only who we are but the value we still have to offer the world.

If you find yourself stuck in a similar rut, feeling like you’ve lost your sense of identity or struggling with social anxiety, know that you are not alone. Procrastination may be the way you’ve been coping, but it doesn’t have to define you. You have the power to reconnect with yourself, one step at a time.

And remember: it’s never too late to rediscover who you are, beyond the roles you’ve played.

 

Relate to this?

If you relate to Alexia’s story—if you find yourself avoiding life, feeling lost in your role, or overwhelmed by social anxiety—know that there’s a way forward. You don’t have to face this journey alone. A coach can help you unravel the layers of procrastination, rebuild your confidence, and rediscover your identity beyond the roles you’ve played.

You don’t need to wait for the “right” time to start living again. By working with a coach, you can begin to take those first small steps toward overcoming anxiety, building your self-esteem, and reconnecting with the world around you.

Ready to take that first step?
I invite you to schedule a free consultation where we’ll explore your unique challenges and map out a plan to help you move forward. Together, we can create a path that feels doable, empowering, and most importantly, aligned with who you truly are.

Reach out today, and let’s start the journey to reclaiming your life and confidence.

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Tammy Whalen Blake

Founder of go to yellow
Personal Development Coach

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How To Be Curious?

Curious lady

Redefining Success | Resorting Life Balance

how to be curious?

In a world often overshadowed by uncertainty and distraction, the quest for purpose emerges as a beacon of hope—an elusive yet essential pursuit that resonates deeply with individuals seeking fulfilment and meaning in their lives. Go To Yellow emerges as a beacon of guidance, offering expertise in personal development coaching that transcends borders. Rooted in a wealth of scientific research, their approach revolves around harnessing curiosity to illuminate the path towards their true calling.

Central to Go To Yellow’s philosophy addresses the common struggle of feeling uninspired—a phenomenon with profound psychological underpinnings. Studies in psychology suggest that a lack of purpose can lead to feelings of aimlessness and disengagement, affecting mental well-being and overall satisfaction with life. By recognising and addressing this challenge, Go To Yellow sets the stage for transformative growth.

Enter Tammy Whalen Blake, the visionary founder behind Go To Yellow, whose pioneering personal development approach has revolutionised how individuals perceive and pursue their purpose. Drawing upon years of experience and insight, Tammy has developed a groundbreaking methodology known as the “10 Questions” technique, a strategic framework grounded in cognitive science. Research on curiosity reveals that it is a fundamental motivator for learning and exploration, activating neural pathways associated with reward and pleasure. By encouraging individuals to delve into the details of everyday experiences, the “10 Questions” technique stimulates curiosity, fostering a sense of wonder and discovery.

At its core, the “10 Questions” technique encourages individuals to delve deep into the minutiae of everyday experiences, prompting them to ask ten probing questions about a single detail. Whether it’s a casual conversation with a colleague, a fleeting observation in nature, or a mundane task performed in routine, every moment becomes an opportunity for exploration and discovery.

Consider, for instance, a simple anecdote shared by a friend about their weekend activities, recounting their efforts to refurbish an old car. Rather than passively absorbing this information, participants of the “10 Questions” technique are encouraged to engage their curiosity by posing a series of inquiries about the car—its history, the restoration process, the challenges encountered, and beyond.

Initially, embracing this inquisitive mindset may feel unfamiliar or even daunting. Yet, Go To Yellow emphasises the importance of celebrating every step towards curiosity, recognising each engagement moment as a triumph. With time and practice, what once seemed arduous becomes second nature, and the ten-question threshold is surpassed with ease.

Neuroplasticity, the brain’s remarkable ability to reorganise and adapt, plays a pivotal role in the effectiveness of Go To Yellow’s approach. Studies have shown that engaging in curiosity-driven activities can enhance neuroplasticity, strengthening synaptic connections and promoting cognitive flexibility.

Through consistent practice, participants of the “10 Questions” technique develop a heightened capacity for curiosity, enabling them to uncover hidden passions and purpose.

Furthermore, interpersonal relationships are deeply influenced by the cultivation of curiosity—a principle supported by social neuroscience. Research suggests that curiosity fosters empathy and connection, promoting positive social interactions and deeper understanding between individuals. By actively listening and engaging with others, participants enrich their lives and contribute to society’s collective fabric.

As Go To Yellow continues to champion the transformative power of curiosity, it reaffirms its commitment to guiding individuals towards a life rich in meaning, authenticity, and purpose. So, dare to be curious, and let the journey towards self-discovery begin—a journey illuminated by the unwavering light of Go To Yellow.

Schedule a Call

Speak to us about your aspirations today during a no-obligation 30-minute video call. We’ll help you chart a path to freedom, and you can decide whether investing in your personal growth is right for you.

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The Fundamentals To Goal Setting

Redefining Success | Resorting Life Balance

The Fundamentals To Goal Setting

The Fundamentals To Goal Setting: 10 Steps to Achieving Impactful Goals

Many set the same New Year’s resolutions every year, hoping to see different results. They are stuck in the same cycle of setting goals, forgetting about them or failing to achieve or even to start them. What might not be surprising is that only 8% achieve their goals. 

It seems modern society encourages us to think about the next significant milestone or chase something new. However, we don’t think enough about accomplishing the goals with a strategy in mind. 

What is Goal Setting?

Goal setting is an intentional and detailed process that identifies a new pursuit, skill, or project and a plan for achieving it.

When you set goals, you take control of your life’s direction. Goals provide you with focus and clarity. Your decisions and actions should bring you closer to achieving those goals. 

“it is a never-ending path but we can enjoy the journey on the way” 

Getting positively uncomfortable

The real challenge is not deciding if you want the result but accepting the sacrifices required to achieve your goal. You must consider if you want the lifestyle that accompanies that goal. This is where planning is essential as it will identify what must change to accomplish the goal. 

Before the exhilarating and enchanting outcome, do you want the dull and unappealing process? Everybody wants a gold medal, but not everybody wants to train like an Olympian.

Goal setting is about choosing the rewards you want and the sacrifice you are willing to pay.

How to Set Goals You'll Follow in 10 Steps

1. Start With Why

To identify the goal you want to achieve, you need to start with why you want to achieve it in the first place. It has to be something meaningful to you and not what is expected. For example, if you consider being a parent in the next five years, your why might be healthy to keep up with your child’s play activities and sports. A parent would need plenty of energy from rest, mindfulness, diet, movement and more. An expectation could be societies pressure to be skinny. The latter isn’t your personal motivator and will cause you internal conflict when trying to achieve your goal. Whereas the former is a more compelling and exciting reason to be working on your health. 

2. Prioritise the Ultimate Goal

Before you set the Ultimate Goal, take a closer look at what you’re trying to achieve and ask yourself the following questions: 

  • Does the goal allow you to get closer to your why?
  • Is this goal something you genuinely want right now? 
  • Is it important enough for the necessary effort and lifestyle change? 

If you’re unwilling to put in the time and effort, it may not be worth pursuing. Everything in life comes down to priorities and what you would like to achieve – conscious choices and subconscious decisions. Life becomes a series of messy experiences you struggle to manage without setting goals or objectives. You become the plaything of coincidence. 

One of the most significant obstacles to achieving goals is other goals. Sometimes you can overestimate your achievements which leave you struggling with your time and attention. Whenever you work on a new goal, you are taking focus and energy from your other goals. 

One of the quickest ways to make progress on your Ultimate Goal is to wait on less essential goals and focus on one Ultimate Goal at a time. It would be best to reorganise your priorities to allow improvement to come faster because you are now fully committed. 

3. Process, Not Outcome

Focusing on the process is one of the most challenging parts of setting and achieving goals. Due to the nature of a goal, you start with the end in mind. However, it’s the tiny steps you take to get there that matter. For example, the outcome you want to achieve is confidence in large public speaking events. That’s the goal. But working towards this goal, you discover that you are most comfortable in small interactive groups. Did you fail at achieving this goal? Not if you believe in the power of the process. 

In good time, you will build up the courage to speak publicly to large audiences, but you’re less inclined to keep trying if you think you’ve failed. 

4. Plan For It

Many choose an Ultimate Goal but never create an action plan to determine how they will achieve it. Your action plan should include all the necessary steps you need to take to get there – no matter how small they may appear. Grab a piece of paper and get writing. This will help you with the next step. 

As mentioned earlier, you need to be sure you are willing your change your lifestyle to get closer to achieving your Ultimate Goal. Now is the time to create the Evolving Goals, which change as you grow. They are designed for the next three months and focus on the habit changes.

If you want to be that parent with high energy, the habit could focus on regular sleeping for the next three months.

If you want confidence in public speaking, the habit could be reading a script out loud at home. 

5. Habit Stacking

There was a study that asked the participants to complete the following: “During the next week, I will partake in at least 20 minutes of vigorous exercise on [DAY] at [TIME OF DAY] at/in [PLACE].” The conclusion of this research shows that you are between 2x to 3x more likely to stick to your goals if you make a specific plan for when, where, and how. 

After/Before [CURRENT HABIT], I will [NEW HABIT].

Here are some examples:

  • Sleep. After I have my dinner, I will read my book and rest my mind.
  • Meditation: Before I have my morning shower, I will meditate for ten minutes.
  • Situps: Before I make my bed, I will do 30 situps.
  • Water: Before I leave the house for work, I will drink some water.
  • Emails: After I’ve had my lunch, I will complete my emails. 
  • Job hunting: After I have my dinner, I will email my CV to the job I want.

Habit stacking and implementation intentions help us move from the goal in our heads to the specific process that will make it a reality.

6. Write Your Goals Down

When you write your goals down, they become real and tangible instead of a vague idea that lives in your mind. Once you’ve written your goals, keep them somewhere visible. Put them on your wardrobe doors, near your computer screen, or on the mirror in the bathroom for when you brush your teeth. Look at it weekly or, better yet, daily.

This tactic reminds you to keep working on your goals often. As you’re writing down your goals, use a positive tone, so you stay excited about achieving them.

7. Align Your Environment With Your Goals

Many of the decisions we make in our lives result from our surroundings.

Before sleeping, browsing social media is likely to be the default action if you go to bed with your phone in your hands. Eating is more likely the default action if your cupboards are filled with biscuits and cakes.

The same can be said for positive surroundings.

By storing a kettlebell next to your sofa, you are more likely to do kettlebell swings instead of sitting watching TV. Drinking water instead of coffee is more likely to be the default action if you have a bottle of water on your desk. 

8. Make It Public

You are more likely to stick to the goals if you tell someone about them. Share it on social media and provide updates. The encouragement can keep you accountable. 

9. Measure Your Goals

We all love to receive feedback – it is very human. The boost in our motivation is when we can see our progress. This doesn’t have to be validated by others. It can be an internal validation. Not everyone will understand your why as they have a different direction to travel in. Measurement is so critical for practical goal setting. By measuring your results, you get insight into whether you are making progress.

Check out the SMART goal setting PDF.

10. Take Action And Evolve Your Goals

Now that you’ve planned everything out, it’s time to take action. You didn’t go through all that work to forget about your goal. Every step you take should lead to another until you finish your Evolving Goal, and then it is time to repeat the process until you achieve the Ultimate Goal.

What shall you do now? 

Join the Goals & Accountability group for £39 per month or book in a call with me. I can help you find the right course of action for YOU. We can talk about your dreams, goals, desires and map out how you can achieve them.

Take the steps today to build your tomorrow!

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Tammy Whalen Blake

Founder of go to yellow
Personal Development Coach

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Don’t Let Fear Hold You Back

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Don’t Let Fear Hold You Back

Man Standing Holding A Tablet Behind Curtain

Our brains can detect potentially dangerous situations and our natural instinct is to stay safe. So when the going gets tough, guess what we will do? 

Yep, we will keep ourselves in our comfort zone!

The zone of no growth.

Yellow people actively reflect and plan for the future. They identify what is holding them back and are ruthless on their journey to success. 

We all have some or all of the 7 fears types. The challenge we have is allowing fears to control us instead of managing them.

When we crush fears, it allows us to get through the storm to enjoy the beauty in life.

What personally held me back for many years was being judged and not accepted, in society and within my career. So I stayed safe at the detriment of my own wellbeing and career development. It was me who lost in that situation.

The day I woke up to my fears, I learned how to use them to my advantage so that my life started to change for the better. 

I launched my own business in a field that I had never worked in before. I knew my passion, and I owned my fears.

Are you ready to be bold too?

So what are the 7 types of fear?

The procrastinator

The Procrastinator is closely linked with the perfectionist. These people must perfect everything, and so obsess with the end product. The planning stages never quite gets finished or if they do start, they struggle to stop until it has been “perfected” to their very high standards. 

The Rule Follower 

is exactly as it sounds! Compelled to act and behave accordingly to the clear definitions of what’s right and wrong, even if it’s at the expense of your own success. Rule followers constantly think about making the right decision and what they might miss out on if they took the one option and not the other. 

People Pleaser

Struggling with the fear of being judged or worry about what others think about you. God forbid someone might be disappointed – people-pleasers would do whatever the other wants instead. Saying no is a challenge. Having boundaries even harder. 

Pessimist

Are fearful of adversity or pain. Hard times in life feel more like stop signs rather than stepping stones to success. They believe that old problems get in the way of them moving forward.

An outcast

is common for entrepreneurs. Others see them as fearless but deep down, an outcast is afraid of rejection so they push away people first. Asking for help is another problem to overcome. Trusting others to achieve an outcome is a constant internal battle when they want to do it all themselves. 

^ this was me! I felt like I was not good enough in my role, and if I exposed myself, I may be fired. I never asked for help and went on to limit my personal and career development 🙁

Self-Doubters

The deep feelings of insecurity about their capabilities. Seeing the world as an opportunity is difficult when they are so “stuck” in moving forward. Judging others who take big leaps is a way of hiding their own fears.

Excuse Maker 

We all know a few of these. Excuse makers rarely take responsibility for their life choices and goals are a mammoth challenge. Instead of taking the bold step to lead, they take a “laid back” approach to life. They find it easier for others to make decisions for them. Excuse makers always find a reason to not start, they tend to be in lack of something like money, time, a team etc. 

Each of these fears requires a particular thought pattern to reprogramme it. 

The main thing to note is that without knowing which fear is holding you back and learning how to step out of your comfort zone, you will continue to repeat the same things over and over again. 

WANT TO LEARN YOUR FEAR TYPE & WHAT YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT?

Schedule your call with me, go through a questionnaire to identify your fear type and together we can devise a plan to overcome the fear in order to achieve your biggest goals. 

BOOK TODAY HERE >>> gotoyellow.co.uk/schedule-a-call

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Tammy Whalen Blake

Founder of go to yellow
Personal Development Coach

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You Can Make An Impact

how to make an impact

You Can Make An Impact

If you feel like your voice will not be heard, that you have no authority or feel like you’re too young…. Remember this girl, Greta Thunberg.

A 17-year-old Swedish environmental activist on climate change whose campaigning has gained international awareness. She began her journey by asking her parents to make lifestyle choices to reduce their carbon footprint. From there she started spending her school days outside Swedish parliament and then regular student strikes every week around the world began. 

Today, she held a speech and a march in Bristol with an enthusiastic audience of between 15,000 – 30,000 people.

Her ask of people is to act to save the planet. 

“This is an emergency. People are already suffering and dying from the consequences of the climate and environmental emergency but it will get worse.”

Furthermore, she comments about how our politicians and those in power for betraying the world’s youth. 

“This emergency is being completely ignored by politicians, the media and those in power.” “World leaders are behaving like children, so it falls on us to be the adults in the room.”

Her audience is captivated and supportive of the climate change movement. 

What makes Greta Thunberg different?

Notice how she has built an audience with mixed ages, ethnic backgrounds and from around the world. She leads with her purpose, has massive passion in her heart, addresses a big problem and shows up! This is the recipe for your movement, amongst other things, but this is a great starting point. 

Greta is no different from you. 

You have the power to start that business you’ve dreamed of, to add value to the executive board meetings, to start a local change campaign. 

Whatever it might be. You can become a leader with your superpowers!

But I don’t know what my superpowers are, Tammy!

I can relate to those who feel insignificant. 

I was a supressed saleswoman for a long time. The senior male decision-makers would ask my male counterparts for advice and solutions rather than me. In the end, I adopted a masculine approach to get noticed. I felt as though I couldn’t bring my unique self to a meeting, a negotiation or even at socials. If I wanted authority I had to dress like a businesswoman, speak logically and direct, I had to brush up my knowledge on cars and Rolex watches and I laughed at the sexual innuendos. Just to be accepted. 

I became conditioned to being this person and justifying it as normal. I couldn’t see the impact it had on my uniqueness and finding my superpowers.

Had I realised the only block in my way was me, I would have done things differently.

After taking time to rebrand who I am today (because we evolve over time) and by going through the Focus & Direction program, I now embrace and leverage my uniqueness. Not only do I have my own thriving business with a mission just like Greta Thunberg, but I also feel alive by being my true self. 

People follow my movement and are awakened to a new way of thinking and being in this modern world. I may be small today with lots of work to do, but I will have a large movement in good time. 

And just like Greta Thunberg, I lead with purpose, massive passion in my heart, address a big problem and show up.

But I don’t have the resources!

Granted, Greta Thunberg has a team supporting her movement but once upon a time not so long ago, it started with just Greta.

The single biggest inspiration is seeing the impact. Once one person’s life is changed, you can’t stop. They will remember you forever and be forever grateful. You know that there are many other people waiting for your help and so you lead with passion.

You just need to start and keep up the momentum. Where you focus your mind, energy will flow to keep pursuing your passion. Resources will stop becoming your problem when you hone in on your movement. 

So remember, it only takes one person to start an ovation. Eventually, there will be two, three and four more. Until the whole crowd will be on their feet. 

I hope I’ve instilled a new belief, that no matter your age, you have the power to start a movement.

Start your standing ovation today!

NEED FURTHER HELP?

Uncover your superpowers with Tammy in a 60 minute free coaching session and start living the life designed by you, for you and with a lasting impact!

BOOK TODAY HERE >>> gotoyellow.co.uk/schedule-a-call

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Founder of go to yellow
Personal Development Coach

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The Problem With Goal Setting

The Problem With Goal Setting

The Problem with goal-setting 1

THE PROBLEM WITH GOAL-SETTING

While 93% of the population set New Year’s resolutions, only 8% go on to achieve. So why don’t these goals get executed?  Perhaps many people have been following an ineffective approach. 

Let’s explore the reason why goals often don’t get implemented and what you can do differently.  

WHAT vs WHY? 

The goal is WHAT you want to achieve.  But lots of WHATs are not done because the WHY is not clear.  Here’s a common example. You know that daily exercise is good for you.  Many of you may have even set a daily goal to exercise. But only some of you are doing it.  Maybe you have a clear WHY, like a recent accident that made you realise how important it is to keep healthy… or trying to fit into a dress for a special event…  your WHY is very clear. 

But others fail to achieve their goal because they had less clarity on the WHY, or perhaps not emotionally-attached to their WHY.  So the WHAT is just an activity without a clear purpose. And before you know it, other things take priority.  

So before you set a goal, you must know why you are doing it in the first place. More importantly, it must be something that motivates YOU. Something deep and meaningful. 

There is a process I use to guide people to dig deep to their WHY.  And it’s surprising that when we get to your WHY, you’ll discover that your goals change.  You may not want to achieve the old WHAT you had previously planned. 

This may seem relatively simple, doesn’t it? But the challenge of digging your own WHY is that you stop before you get to the core and settle for a superficial WHY.  And this is ineffective because it doesn’t give you the motivation to achieve your WHAT, especially when distractions come. 

Ready to go deeper on this topic? 

Let me help you dig your WHY.  I will give you 30 minutes of my time free of charge and, in return, you will give me an open mind to explore yourselves deeper.  I only have 5 slots a week to do this, so make sure you book one of them. I would like you to feel what it’s like to get clarity and see the impact it makes to your goals. 

Schedule your call here https://gotoyellow.co.uk/schedule-a-call/ and let’s start your 2020 off to a great start.

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Tammy Whalen Blake

Founder of go to yellow
Personal Development Coach

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Discovering Your Vision

Discovering Your Vision

1.-Mastermind-images-3

While 93% of the population set New Year’s resolutions, only 8% go on to achieve. What makes them different?

Until today, we have been following an ineffective approach. Before you set a goal, you must know why you are doing it in the first place. More importantly, it must be something that motivates YOU. Something deep and meaningful. 

The key I am going to share with you today is the driving force behind powerful goals – create a VISION for YOUR life. 

If you do not know where you are going, unfortunately, you are influenced by other people’s vision, the latest fad or culture expectation. This is neither healthy or sustainable. 

It is like driving with a blindfold on, with several co-drivers giving you guidance, hoping you’ll arrive at your destination. When you arrive at the destination, you realise you are not in the right place, leaving you feeling lost, stuck and deflated. Furthermore, you realise have wasted your precious time and energy and must start again. 

Why waste years of driving many roads, only to find out that you will arrive at the wrong location?

There is a more effective approach.

Get back in the driving seat, and steer yourself to a more fulfilling and purposeful life!

Here are the 5 keys leaders use to get ahead in life:

  1. Your Vision Awakened

To discover your vision you must truly understand your personal values, meaningful areas of your life to invest in (health, wealth, relationships, career etc), skills, passion and interests. 

  • Write a 10-year vision that is beyond what you believe to be obtainable (written in the present tense),
  • a 2-5 year mission of how you are going to live in order to achieve the vision, and
  • create a vision board!

When you are excited every time you read your vision and mission statements, it is then that you have truly grasped who you are and what the future will be. 

Once you have your statements, it is time to get creative. 

It is a simple as adding images of your ideal life, belongings, goals and affirmations onto a board or book.

Once created, display somewhere where you often go to remind you of the vision. Spend time before sleeping visualising each image as if you’ve absolutely mastered the act and achieved success. This will awaken the reticular activating system (RAS) – the part of your brain that will cut out distractions and see opportunities clearer. 

Like blinkers on a horse. You’ll be sure of the direction to your destination. 

         2. Get a Coach

It is no easy task in developing a clear picture of what you want the future to be, one that is authentic and without an expectation.

Often than not, those who do it alone, get caught in the same trap of travelling in someone else direction because they are unable to recognise what they truly want. 

Equally, it is challenging to know what is an actual limitation, and one that is just your negative narrative. 

Negative narratives can be anything from childhood conditioning, the identity you hold onto, and your beliefs. 

A coach will guide you to an empowering vision

            3. Power of Communication 

Being able to communicate a vision to others is advantageous. This is something that sets a leader apart. Leaders master the ability to share a clear and exciting vision for the future, and the ability to communicate effectively. 

Honouring your vision every day will have a positive effect across your peers, employees and personal relationships. Shifting peoples beliefs with possibilities, of what can be and will be, arouses emotion and motivates people to be their best selves. They will see this vision as belonging to them and will serve you in closing the gaps. 

Equally, your vision can repel others. This is good! You do not want people wasting your time and energy if they are not on the same journey. Reduce the number of stop signs and lighten your load, save yourself some fuel on your journey to success. 

           4. Forget Focusing on The Money

Of course, money is important. It is far more rewarding to be true to yourself and developing a life you desire, than focusing on the money. 

Money will come when you are authentic.

When you raise your standards, to be the best in business, you’ll only accept greatness. 

By not focusing on the money requires a resourceful way of thinking – the kind of thinking innovators have. Better decisions will be made with this mindset. 

          5. Keep Your Posture 

During times of hardship, conflict and crisis, leaders thrive most when they remain calm. In a study at Stanford Business School, they examined the qualities in leadership. It concluded with two qualities for success are putting a team together and patience under pressure.

Others observe greatly during these times, your next move is being recorded by many. 

“If you can keep your head when all around you are losing theirs and blaming it on you, then the world is yours and all that’s in it.”

To operate calmly, you MUST know where you are going.

Remember …the first key is most important before the following four. 

And if you are not convinced…

Who is a world leader at what they do?

Tesla.

Tesla’s vision statement is “to create the most compelling car company of the 21st century by driving the world’s transition to electric vehicles.” and their mission, “to accelerate the world’s transition to sustainable energy.”

Tesla is true to their vision, they communicate effectively, they influence and inspire the best, it is never about the money but rather the environment. They are innovators. They are leaders.

Do you want to be a leader or a follower?

Well, now you know where it starts. It is not about goal-setting, but rather a vision of your future. Goal-setting is the next phase.

Ready to go deeper on this topic? 

Work with me to unlock your greatest self, with Your Vision Awakened Workshop:

https://gotoyellow.co.uk/your-vision-awakened

Get back in the driving seat, and steer yourself to a more fulfilling and purposeful life!

Book your space on the workshop today – Your Vision Awakened

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Tammy Whalen Blake

Founder of go to yellow
Personal Development Coach

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The Change Model

The Change Model

The Change Model

The Change Model

It’s important we understand where people come from in relation to making changes to their lifestyle that will improve their health. There is a very well-established model for this called the Stages of Change.

The Stages of Change model describes the different stages we go through when we want to change something in our lives.

Know that people can vary in the stage for different circumstances. For example, a person might be in the Action phase for improvement in their career, can also be in Precontemplation phase for smoking. While the time a person can stay in each stage is variable, the tasks required to move to the next stage are not. Those who practise change often, tend to naturally self-improve in all areas of life. A habit worth pursuing. 

It takes conscious effort to keep evolving and challenging yourself, as over time circumstances change. For example, today you may be focused on developing your career – focusing on the behaviours to amplify your success. In 5 years’ time, you become a parent – your previous behaviours such as working away from home might be adjusted to spend time with your newborn.  

6 Stages of Change

  1. Precontemplation – Not Ready

This is the first stage of change. In this stage, people do not have a desire to take action in the near future (within the next 6 months). These people are usually unaware of their behaviours causing problems for their situation. They tend to be oblivious, unwilling to discover or take responsibility for their actions. People in this stage underestimate the benefits of changing their behaviour but rather focus on the negatives of changing behaviour.

2. Contemplation – Getting Ready

In this stage, people aspire to begin the behaviour change in the near future (within the next 6 months). These people have recognised that their behaviour may be troublesome, and are thinking of the benefits of changing the behaviour, along with the negative impact. Even though they have recognised the behaviours as a problem, they may still feel doubtful of changing.

3. Preparation (Determination) – Ready

In this stage, people are ready and keen to take action soon (within the next 30 days). They prepare themselves by making adjustments, usually in small steps, and they believe changing their behaviour can lead to a more fulfilling and healthier life.

4. Action 

In this stage, the behaviour has changed (within the last 6 months) and people make a conscious effort to keep moving forward with the behaviour change. 

5. Maintenance 

In this stage, people have for a new habit as they’ve been performing the change for a while (more than 6 months). They maintain the behaviour change moving forward. People in this stage work to prevent relapsing.

6. Termination 

In this stage, people are confident in their new behaviour and have no desire to return to their unhealthy behaviours. These people tend to not relapse. Since this uncommon for many, people are most likely to stay in the maintenance stage. You do not see promotional material or marketing for people in these stages. 

 

In order to progress through the stages, people apply different processes: cognitive, affective, and evaluative. 

There have been 10 processes of change identified, with some being more relevant to a specific stage of change than others. 

 

The below processes require different strategies that help with making and maintain change.

Cognitive and Affective Experiential Processes

  1. Consciousness Raising (Get the Facts) – Increasing awareness about the behaviour.
  2. Dramatic Relief (Pay Attention to Feelings) – Emotional arousal about the behaviour, whether positive or negative.
  3. Self-Reevaluation (Notice Your Effect on self) – Self re-appraisal to realise the behaviour is part of who they want to be.
  4. Environmental Re-evaluation (Notice Your Effect on Others) – Social re-appraisal to realise how their unhealthy behaviour affects others.
  5. Social Liberation (Notice Public Support) – Environmental opportunities that exist to show society is supportive of the behaviour.

Behavioural Processes

  1. Self-Liberation (Make a Commitment)– Commitment to change behaviour based on the belief that achievement of the behaviour is possible.
  2. Helping Relationships (Get Support) – Finding supportive relationships that encourage the desired change.
  3. Counter-Conditioning (Use Substitutes) – replacing poor behaviours and thoughts for healthier behaviours and thoughts.
  4. Reinforcement Management (Use Rewards) – Rewarding positive behaviour and reducing the rewards that come from negative behaviour.
  5. Stimulus Control (Manage Your Environment) – Re-engineering the environment to have reminders and cues that support and encourage the new empowering behaviour and remove those that encourage the unhealthy behaviour.

Ready to take the leap into personal growth? 

Let me help you move through the change model to realise your potential.  I will give you 30 minutes of my time free of charge and, in return, you will give me an open mind to explore yourselves deeper. I would like you to feel what it’s like to get clarity and see the impact it makes to your personal development. 

Schedule your call here https://gotoyellow.co.uk/schedule-a-call/ and let’s craft the life you desire most

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Tammy Whalen Blake

Founder of go to yellow
Personal Development Coach

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Art of Fulfilment

Art of Fulfilment

1.-Mastermind-images-6

WHAT’S THE KEY TO FULFILLMENT?

Tony Robbins, a world authority on leadership psychology and the number 1 life and business strategist, created the Art of Fulfilment by sharing insights into mastering 2 important lessons to an epic life.  

Starting with the science of achievement which can be understood by the three forces of creation; focus, massive action and grace. However this is only half the story of success.

To be wholly fulfilled, not just from achievement, you must also live a rich life (not the financial kind). This goes beyond success. It can be achieved by finding what makes you yellow, contributing to lasting happiness.

 

MASTERING THE SCIENCE OF ACHIEVEMENT

Achievement is defined as a thing done successfully with effort, skill, or courage. Tony describes these as the following three forces. Without these, the Art of Fulfilment is difficult if you haven’t achieved anything.

 

FORCE 1: FOCUS

Fueling your focus requires desire and hunger, without this you will be unable to progress to the end. By channelling the power of clarity and commitment, results in making something happen. Activating your Reticular Activating System (RAS) allows for energy to flow to the desired success.

FORCE 2: MASSIVE ACTION

If you’re not moving forwards with the current tactics, it is time to change. Keep trying and trying, until you have mastered the task at hand. Just like learning to ride a bike, if you fall off, do you keep trying or do you give up? The best way to do this is find someone who has mastered the same task and model them. This allows for you to learn at pace than doing it alone. Learn from someone else mistakes and failures.

FORCE 3: GRACE

Some call this the “lucky”, “fortunate” or “the universe is talking to you”, whatever you want to call it, the fact is that there are times when something beyond our control happens, this is grace. Being open and accepting to grace allows for a better understanding of giving back, this is another key factor in fulfilment.

CREATING A RICH AND FULL LIFE

We have seen many people in the public eye who have a very successful career, lots of financial freedom and a fun-filled lifestyle however they remain unhappy. We view them as successful but what they aren’t, is fulfilled. If something is familiar to you, the more use you are to it, the less appreciative you become. You have the power to change this. With the right help, go to yellow can guide you to truly live a rich and full life.

UNDERSTANDING THE ART OF FULFILLMENT

To repeat the introductory message – To be wholly fulfilled, not just from achievement, you must also live a rich (not meaning financial) life. This goes beyond success. You need to live your best life possible. This can be achieved by finding what makes you feel yellow, resulting in lasting happiness.

Our minds are programmed to find faults and failures, this mindset can be altered by appreciation, instead of living in your familiarity and having expectations. Practising gratitude daily or seeking the positive in any given situation has improved successful in reaching fulfilment. Appreciate the little things such as your child looking directly into your eyes as they speak, that they want to fully connect with you or the text message from your partner wishing good night, they’ve taken the time to let you know they love you and are thinking of you. The energy that radiates your being will be infectious – people will feel the appreciation and often than not, repeat the act.

Science of achievement + Art of Fulfilment = Yellow!

 

Ready to go deeper on this topic with the master of personal development, Tony Robbins? 

Purchase one of his top selling books on personal achievement: Unlimited Power

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Picture of Tammy Whalen Blake

Tammy Whalen Blake

Founder of go to yellow
Personal Development Coach