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What is personal development: A guide

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Redefining Success | Resorting Life Balance

What is personal development: the Guide

The personal development industry is one that always continues to grow. This makes sense because the need to self-develop and elevate has always been apparent to human beings. 

Dating to years, Aristotle, an ancient Greek philosopher who lived over 2000 years ago, is one of the founding fathers of modern personal development.

Today, we have many names of stature in the personal development industry spanning to and from different sub-niches, i.e. Psychology, Philosophy, Sociology, Human Resources, The arts, etc. 

In their ways, these industries combine to forge a vast personal development industry. This post will discuss personal development in depth. 

What is Personal Development?

Personal development is a lifelong personal journey. It is constantly assessing and adjusting how you live and how this adds to your overall satisfaction and success. 

Personal development spans different parts of a person’s life. For one person, it may be about defying weaknesses and maximising strengths. For another person, it may be about unlearning toxic behaviour and adopting new ones. 

In a work environment, personal development can be intentionally working on communication skills to become a better teammate or anything else necessary for such a space. 

Because the determining need to self-develop will differ from individual to individual, the outcome of personal development looks different for people. 

For one person, personal development is for the glory of gaining more confidence; being better at relationships; being an attractive work prospect, or simply leading a high-quality lifestyle.  

Whatever your course, you need to embark on your personal development journey with intention and map out why it’s of importance to you. 

Why is personal development important?

We estimate the personal development industry’s market size to be over 50 billion dollars. With this enormous sum, ask yourself what makes it so popular; or so important. I like to believe it is its importance that makes it popular. 

It goes back to what separates humans from animals. Humans are intelligent and emotional beings. The great capacity we possess in these respective areas comes at a price.

As we go through life, aware of our complex cognition and emotions, even more complexities come to be. And this is where personal development comes in. 

Committing to improving yourself and how you relate to your cognition and emotions helps you be attuned to the weaknesses and strengths that may affect these areas.

Though embarking on a personal development journey is a choice, people have an innate need to grow. When one feels like there’s a barrier between them and where they want to be; the automatic need to self-develop kicks in. 

In some ways, personal development nurtures your self-awareness and self-esteem and helps you adopt better ways to navigate your personal barriers. It is such an important thing because it is an ongoing attempt to be better. And this is a good thing for any individual.

How to identify your own Personal development areas? 

Since personal development is a personal journey one commits to for personal reasons, it is very important for each individual to identify their own personal development areas.

There are 5 areas of personal development, I.e. emotional, mental, social, spiritual and physical. 

No one area precedes the other because these areas can all affect each other. But ideally, start with mental development.

Your mental state can affect other development areas, both dramatically and perpetually. For example, physical exercises require physical strength and mental willpower to get into it. 

Social spaces can also trigger detrimental mental responses. But for someone who has trained themselves to respond accordingly to expected and unprecedented contexts, they have the mental strength to persevere.   

Also, for the sake of your mental well-being, you shouldn’t overwhelm yourself by committing to all these areas at the same time. Rather, be patient and realistic with yourself.

Ask yourself crucial questions before you start your journey.

  • Where do you excel?
  • Where do you struggle?
  • How do you feel about your life?
  • What goals are you aspiring for?
  • Are you better at professional or social relationships? 
  • Which self-development area is affecting other parts of your life?

Don’t be afraid to look at yourself as you are and make the best choices for yourself. 

Abraham Maslow’s self-actualisation

Self-actualisation is one theory that encourages addressing all your needs to fulfil your potential. According to Abraham Maslow, a humanistic psychologist, humans have an intrinsic need to develop and fulfil their potential in life. 

He asserts it is necessary for humans to develop their needs from the ground up, starting with physiological needs and with self-actualisation at the top. In between there’s safety & security, love & belonging and self-esteem. 

In its entirety, self-actualisation theory contends for basic needs and is inclusive of personal development areas. 

This is why we recommend following the self-actualisation pyramid to position oneself better to have the willpower to tackle personal development areas. As affirmed by Maslow, the need to develop our complex positions will typically be absent if we do not first meet our basic needs.  

According to Maslow, self-actualisation is the ultimate realisation that one can achieve anything set to mind. That co-occurs with a full appreciation of one’s life and its surroundings. 

Self-actualisation traits 

  • Autonomy and independence
  • Democratic character structure
  • Feelings of kinship and identification 
  • Accepting of others and yet true to self
  • Clear, efficient perception of reality
  • Have missions to complete outside of self
  • Detachment and need for healthy privacy 
  • Balance between polarities in personality 
  • Ethical discrimination between good and bad
  • Sense of appreciation and exuding gratitude
  • Philosophical non-hostile humour to others and self

Given the traits attributed to self-actualisation, intending to reach this stage is a good thing. 

 

Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs (1)

How to develop a personal development plan?

Your approach must also be thought through now that you understand personal development. You need to have a personal development plan. 

This plan will help you pick out areas you need to develop as well as the best approach for yourself; provided you don’t skip out on it. Starting with a swot analysis. 

Choose your development area and do a personal swot analysis

A personal swot analysis, much like a business swot analysis, is a method of identifying your strengths and weaknesses to best determine how to maximise and minimise them.

As an abbreviation, swot stands for:

S – STRENGTHS

W – WEAKNESSES

O – OPPORTUNITIES

T – THREATS

By default, a personal analysis will ask questions concerned with one’s personal life. However, they are not limited to that.  

You want to use a personal swot analysis as a fundamental reference despite the personal development area you want to develop. 

Even in business, a personal swot analysis goes a long way because your success is always a direct reflection of your personal capacity and approach. 

STRENGTHS

  • What am I great at?
  • What value do I provide?
  • What do people like about me?
  • What resources do I have at my disposal?

WEAKNESSES

  • What can I improve?
  • What am I missing that I need? 
  • What am I bad at compared to others?
  • What’s something that works against me?

OPPORTUNITIES

  • What unmet demands can I satisfy?
  • What opportunities do I see for myself?
  • How can I apply my existing strengths?
  • What trends can I take advantage of as per the person I am?

THREATS 

  • What external forces work against me?
  • Do I have underlying issues that undermine my growth?
  • Am I in a position for my weaknesses to be exploited?
  • If I have any, are my competitors outperforming me?

In each slot, you may relate the questions to different things. It all comes down to where you are as an individual and the personal development area you plan to develop.

For example, if you are targeting mental development, the question “what’s something that works against me” will question a part of your life that strains your mental health. 

And if you’re developing your social area, that question would now be concerned with characteristics that fail your social relationships. 

Iron out your personal vision 

Once you know the personal development area you want to develop and complete a personal swot analysis around it, it’s time to map out what moving away from your current position to the one you inspire to be in looks like. 

“What does my personal vision look like, and who does it need me to be?”

A personal vision, which is just a fancy way of saying a vision statement, is a statement that declares what you want to achieve and the most idealistic position you want to assume in the long run.

Whether condensed or long, your personal vision should account for your values, strengths, and goals. Above all, your vision must be an achievable goal. 

This is a statement to always fall back to as a reminder of where exactly you’re going and perhaps be a motivation that keeps you going when the going goes tough. 

How to create a personal vision?

To make this process less complicated, you want to outline a few things and work according to them, starting with your strengths. 

STRENGTHS – What innate abilities do I possess?

  • What am I good at? 
  • Where do I compete better? 

VALUES – Think about the personal standard you hold yourself to

  • What are my non-negotiable values? 
  • What kind of person do I aspire to be? 
  • What is desirable and not desirable to me?

ACQUIRED SKILLS – What did I learn I am good at?

  • What skills have I learned in my life?
  • How can I use things I learned to my advantage? 
  • Do my skills make me favourable in any way? How?

ULTIMATE GOAL – Where do I want to be?

  • Where would I like to be? 
  • How do I want to change? 
  • What does my desired change look like?

PERSONAL VISION – What idealistic position do I want to be in?

  • What do I want to do on a day-to-day basis?
  • What does a perfect life look like for me?
  • When I narrow down options, which one do I want the most?

In the end, you will use answers to these questions to write your personal vision statement.

 
These questions will differ as per the reason you are developing yourself. For example, these questions will revolve around a chosen field if you’re developing your career. 

Develop a personal development mindset.

It takes an average of 66 days to make a new habit stick. Even after that, slacking just once can set you back to the beginning. With that said, you can imagine how outlining your personal development aspects is just the beginning. 

The tough part is committing to your plan and seeing it through. It is going to take some willpower and dedication. But with the following approach, you can do it. 

  • Break down your goals 

One big goal is scary. But that’s no reason for you to shy away from your wildest dreams. Instead, continue to target scary and overwhelming goals but break them down into small parts. This process helps you set smart goals. 

S- Smart, M- Measurable, A- Achievable, R- Relevant, T- Time-bound.

Imagine your goal as a long road trip. 

The 1st step for you to take would be to set up your dynamic and static ropes. Your dynamic rope, the one that will stretch and absorb the impact when you fall, is made of all the lessons, habits, and insight you gained when taking small steps toward your big goal.

The static rope, the efficient one that stretches a little to lower you and haul you up. This rope is all the small steps you’ll take to get to the big goal.

The static rope helps you to achieve short-term goals, while the dynamic rope anchors the long-term goal. 

Think of it this way. If your ultimate personal goal is to be a better mother, then learning to be  patient, better at communicating, and less distracted would be the small steps you need to take. 

If you want to build a business, separating milestones would be less overwhelming. For example, the 1st goal is to register the business before worrying about marketing. 

After this part, follow through with the next steps.

  • Set deadlines for each small goal you outline.
  • Be mindful of threats and opportunities
  • Delegate whatever you can 
  • Have a way to measure progress

Setting deadlines is important because you don’t want to be stuck on one small goal forever. Being mindful of threats and opportunities provides the needed flexibility to adapt and not despair when things change you. 

You should delegate if you can afford to and measure your progress to see how close or far off you are to the ultimate goal.  

Develop your personality to fit your goals

When I was a relatively bright student in secondary school, one of my teachers told me I would struggle with my studies in University because:

  1. No one chases you to do your work at university
  2. My playful and laid-back approach will work against me
  3. It will be hard to adapt my horrible working style to university demands

Despite my capabilities; he basically told me I was my worst enemy. Though in my case, he was wrong, people being their own worst enemies is not uncommon, and Dr. Brain R. Little affirmed this.  

In his acting out-of-character article, Dr. Brian R. Little, a Professor, author, and speaker, wrote about how your personality can work against your success. He emphasised the need to ‘act out of character’ for the sake of your success.  

“Human personality plays a striking and subtle role in shaping the course of our lives in the immortal profession. Arrogance, shyness, bounciness, and hundreds of other traits of personality influence how others see us and how we see ourselves. They have important consequences for the shape of our lives.”

Consider the big 5 personality traits as per contemporary psychology. Whichever you embody, they all have pros and cons. And the cons are the ones to adapt for the better if they work against you. 

  • Openness

People with this personality trait are imaginative, insightful, curious, eager to learn with a broad range of interests.

On the flip side, their openness can lead them down an overwhelming path as they take on more than they can handle.

  • Conscientiousness

People with this personality trait are thoughtful, goal-oriented, organised, and pretty much finish deadlines.

On the other hand, they can be perfectionists who struggle to work in fast-paced, changing environments.

  • Extraversion

People with this personality trait are social, talkative, excitable, outgoing and enjoy meeting people.

On the other hand, these people can be easily distracted and neglect their goals. They can also overestimate other people’s presence a lot, which can sometimes be a con.

  • Agreeableness

These are the people who are kind, altruistic, empathetic, cooperative and enjoy helping others.

On the other hand, agreeable people can easily be taken advantage of and also exhaust themselves to a point where they are left with nothing to offer themselves.

  1. Neuroticism 

These are people who are moody, chronically sad and all round emotionally unstable.

While the defining traits are not great, neuroticism goes hand in hand with creativity and problem-solving, and one can maximise these traits.

The trick is to get to know yourself as much as possible and learn to adapt the negatives to not work against you as per your chosen personal development area and development plan. 

“You may not be naturally open and extroverted. But given an important occasion or project, you have little choice but to act out of character, to rise to the occasion and be an alternative you — in a sense, perhaps, an optimised you.”

Advantages of developing yourself ‘personally’

Having emphasised the need to choose a personal development area before outlining a plan, let’s talk about why developing yourself puts you at an advantage. 

Whatever area you decide to focus on, i.e. career, relationships, mental health, etc. You cannot separate the outcome of your success from who you are as an individual and where you are in your entirety. 

Therefore, before everything else, the self-development journey should be concerned with who and what one is at the core. Understand that the innate traits that set you apart and make you who you are can be a disadvantage as much as they can be an advantage. 

If your innate traits are going to have a ripple effect on any part of your life, you might as well develop them to have a positive impact and add to the following advantages:

  • Strong sense of self-awareness

You will make better decisions for yourself and your life when you know yourself and what you expect from yourself and your surroundings. Consistently committing to developing yourself certainly helps you get to know yourself better more and more.

  • Living a balanced life. 

A disadvantage of not knowing what you want out of life is allowing multiple things to pull you in different directions, even when you can do without them. One can end up overwhelmed by demands that do not even fulfil them. The opposite can be said for someone whose personal development journey grounds them. 

  • Defining your life goals 

Often the instigator of personal development journeys, having defined goals, is a catalyst of progress and success because despite facing challenges, at least you are working towards clear goals, and any adjustment is still towards the same achievement. 

  • Building healthy relationships 

When you are sure of yourself, and what‌ adds value to who you already are, you will choose and gravitate towards connections that affirm you in the best way possible. You will reduce the likelihood of forging potentially toxic relationships. 

  • Motivated to be a success

One obstacle that limits success is not knowing what you want to do with your life. This is why people who know what they want out of life are motivated to chase the said thing. In retrospect, people who don’t know waste a lot of mental energy figuring out what they want. 

  • Strong self-control

Human beings are what they are because of their emotional and intelligent nature. At our worst, our emotions and intelligence can be the worst of us. This is why it is important for you to have some control over what you feel, think, and how you behave because of the preceding two factors. Self-control also aids temptations, habits and impulses.

  • Strong boundaries and decisions

When you know what you stand for and your ultimate goals for your life, you refuse to take on obligations you have no business doing. You know what makes sense to your journey and can make hard decisions that filter out the unnecessary fluff without being paralysed. 

  • All-round fulfilling life 

All in all, personal development has a ripple effect on all areas of your life. Ultimately, this is a journey that nurtures multiple shortcomings and strengths, creating a life of balanced demands and progressive solutions. An individual having an extensive understanding of all areas that can affect them nurtures this all-round fulfilling life. 

Ready to start your personal development journey? Download our free tool to help you map out your journey. 

Alternatively, you can join our personal development coaching programme. 

What are the benefits of personal development coaching?

There are many potential benefits to participating in personal development coaching. Some of the most common benefits include:

  1. Increased self-awareness: Personal development coaching can help you gain a better understanding of your strengths, weaknesses, and values, which can lead to improved decision-making and increased personal fulfillment.

  2. Improved performance: By setting specific, measurable goals and developing action plans to achieve them, personal development coaching can help you improve your performance in various areas of your life, such as your career or personal relationships.

  3. Enhanced communication skills: Personal development coaching can help you develop effective communication skills, which can improve your relationships with others and make it easier to achieve your goals.

  4. Greater personal and professional satisfaction: By working with a personal development coach to identify and pursue your goals, you may experience greater satisfaction and fulfillment in your personal and professional life.

  5. Increased confidence and motivation: Personal development coaching can help you build self-confidence and increase your motivation to pursue your goals.

  6. Improved problem-solving and decision-making skills: A personal development coach can help you develop the skills needed to effectively identify and solve problems, and make informed decisions.

Who is personal development coaching for?

Personal development coaching is for anyone who is looking to improve their personal or professional life and achieve their goals. It is a helpful resource for individuals who want to increase their self-awareness, build new skills, and make positive changes in their lives.

Personal development coaching can be particularly useful for people who are:

  1. Seeking to make a career change or advance in their current career
  2. Looking to improve their personal relationships
  3. Seeking to increase their self-confidence and motivation
  4. Struggling to manage their time or set and achieve goals
  5. Seeking to improve their overall well-being and happiness
  6. Looking to make a positive change in their lives, but are unsure how to do so

If you are facing any of these challenges or simply want to improve your personal or professional life, personal development coaching may be a helpful resource for you.

Which personal development coach is for me?

There are many different personal development coaches available, and it is important to choose one that is a good fit for your needs and goals. Here are a few factors to consider when choosing a personal development coach:

  1. Expertise: Look for a coach who has experience and training in the specific area you are looking to work on. For example, if you want to work on your career development, look for a coach who has experience helping others advance in their careers.

  2. Approach: Consider the coaching approach of the personal development coach. Some coaches may use more structured approaches, while others may be more flexible and adapt their approach to meet the needs of their clients. Choose a coach whose approach aligns with your preferences and goals.

  3. Personality: Personal development coaching involves a personal relationship between the coach and the client. It is important to find a coach with whom you feel comfortable and can build a rapport.

  4. Availability: Consider the coach’s availability and whether they offer sessions at times that are convenient for you.

  5. Cost: Personal development coaching can vary in cost, so it is important to consider your budget when choosing a coach.

It may also be helpful to speak with a few different coaches before making a decision, to get a sense of their style and approach and determine which one is the best fit for you.

"You don’t have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great.”

Need further help with personal development coaching? Get in touch. 

Book a no-obligation 30-minute call with Tammy Whalen Blake to discuss the best program for your personal development needs.

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Tammy Whalen Blake

Founder of go to yellow
Personal Development Coach

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Why do you need a vision statement?

Redefining Success | Resorting Life Balance

Why do you need a life vision statement?

What is a life vision statement?

A vision statement, like a life plan, can be a helpful tool for setting goals, staying organised, and staying focused on what is most important to you. It can help you to make the most of your time and to prioritise your activities in a way that aligns with your values and long-term objectives. A life vision statement can also provide direction and purpose and help you stay motivated and on track as you work towards your goals. Ultimately, having a life vision statement can help you to live a happier, more fulfilling life.

What are the benefits of a life vision statement?

There are many benefits to having a life vision statement. Some of the main benefits include:

  1. Setting goals: A life vision statement can help you to set specific, achievable, and measurable goals for different areas of your life, such as your career, your relationships, your health, and your personal growth. This can help you to stay focused and motivated as you work towards what you want to achieve.

  2. Staying organised: A life vision statement can help you to organise your time and resources in a way that allows you to pursue your goals effectively. This can help you to be more productive and efficient and can reduce feelings of overwhelm and stress.

  3. Prioritising your activities: A life vision statement can help you prioritise your activities and make the most of your time. By focusing on what is most important to you, you can ensure that you spend your time and energy on the things that truly matter to you.

  4. Increasing your sense of purpose: Having a life vision statement can give you a sense of purpose and direction and help you feel more fulfilled and satisfied with your life.

  5. Improving your mental and physical health: By setting goals and working towards them, you can improve your mental and physical health and well-being. This can lead to a greater sense of accomplishment and happiness.

Who needs a life vision statement?

Anyone can benefit from having a life vision statement, regardless of age, background, or circumstances. A life vision statement can be particularly helpful for people looking to make significant changes in their lives or trying to achieve specific goals. It can also be helpful for people who feel stuck or unfulfilled and are looking for a way to find greater purpose and meaning in their lives.

Ultimately, a life vision statement can be helpful for anyone who wants to live a happier, more fulfilling life.

How do you create a life vision statement?

There are many different approaches to creating a life vision statement, and your specific steps will depend on your individual goals and needs. Here are some general steps you can follow to create a life vision statement:

  1. Reflect on your values and priorities: Before you start planning, it’s important to take some time to reflect on what is most important to you. What are your values and priorities? What do you want to achieve in your life?

  2. Set specific, achievable, and measurable goals: Once you have a sense of your values and priorities, you can start setting specific, achievable, and measurable goals for different areas of your life. These goals should align with your values and be something you are truly committed to achieving.

  3. Make a plan: Now that you have your goals, it’s time to plan how to achieve them. This should include specific action steps, deadlines, and necessary resources.

  4. Get support: It can be helpful to have the support of others as you work towards your goals. This could include a coach, mentor, or accountability partner who can help you to stay motivated and on track.

  5. Be flexible: It’s important to remember that your life vision statement is a living document and that it may need to be adjusted as your circumstances change. Be prepared to adapt your plan as needed and stay open to new opportunities that may come your way.

  6. Review and adjust your vision statement regularly: Regularly reviewing and adjusting your life vision statement can help you stay on track and progress towards your goals.

When is the best time to create a life vision statement?

There is no “best” time to start a life vision statement. You can start creating a life plan at any point in your life, whether you are just starting out in your career, are well-established in your profession, or are planning for retirement. The important thing is to start when you are ready and feel motivated to make positive changes in your life.

That being said, there may be certain times in your life when it makes sense to start a life vision statement. For example, you might want to create a life vision statement if you are:

  • Graduating from school and starting your career
  • Facing a significant life transition, such as getting married or starting a family
  • Feeling stuck or unfulfilled in your current situation
  • Seeking to make a major change or achieve a specific goal

Ultimately, the best time to start a life vision statement is when you are ready and motivated to take control of your life and work towards your goals.

"You don’t have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great.”

Need further help with creating your life vision statement? Get in touch. 

Book a no-obligation 30-minute call with Tammy Whalen Blake to discuss the Focus & Direction program for your personal development needs. This program has seen many achieve massive changes in their lives, from starting a new business to strengthening relationships and having more me-time. 

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Tammy Whalen Blake

Founder of go to yellow
Personal Development Coach

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What is personal development coaching?

Redefining Success | Resorting Life Balance

What is personal development coaching?

What is personal development coaching?

Personal development coaching is a type of coaching that focuses on helping individuals identify and achieve personal goals. It is designed to help people develop new skills, improve their performance, and increase their self-awareness. Personal development coaches work with clients to identify areas of their lives that they want to change and then help them develop strategies and action plans to make those changes. They may work with clients on various issues, including career development, relationships, health and wellness, and personal growth. Personal development coaching is typically provided in one-on-one sessions and may involve group or online coaching.

What are the benefits of personal development coaching?

There are many potential benefits to participating in personal development coaching. Some of the most common benefits include:

  1. Increased self-awareness: Personal development coaching can help you gain a better understanding of your strengths, weaknesses, and values, which can lead to improved decision-making and increased personal fulfillment.

  2. Improved performance: By setting specific, measurable goals and developing action plans to achieve them, personal development coaching can help you improve your performance in various areas of your life, such as your career or personal relationships.

  3. Enhanced communication skills: Personal development coaching can help you develop effective communication skills, which can improve your relationships with others and make it easier to achieve your goals.

  4. Greater personal and professional satisfaction: By working with a personal development coach to identify and pursue your goals, you may experience greater satisfaction and fulfillment in your personal and professional life.

  5. Increased confidence and motivation: Personal development coaching can help you build self-confidence and increase your motivation to pursue your goals.

  6. Improved problem-solving and decision-making skills: A personal development coach can help you develop the skills needed to effectively identify and solve problems, and make informed decisions.

Who is personal development coaching for?

Personal development coaching is for anyone who is looking to improve their personal or professional life and achieve their goals. It is a helpful resource for individuals who want to increase their self-awareness, build new skills, and make positive changes in their lives.

Personal development coaching can be particularly useful for people who are:

  1. Seeking to make a career change or advance in their current career
  2. Looking to improve their personal relationships
  3. Seeking to increase their self-confidence and motivation
  4. Struggling to manage their time or set and achieve goals
  5. Seeking to improve their overall well-being and happiness
  6. Looking to make a positive change in their lives, but are unsure how to do so

If you are facing any of these challenges or simply want to improve your personal or professional life, personal development coaching may be a helpful resource for you.

Which personal development coach is for me?

There are many different personal development coaches available, and it is important to choose one that is a good fit for your needs and goals. Here are a few factors to consider when choosing a personal development coach:

  1. Expertise: Look for a coach who has experience and training in the specific area you are looking to work on. For example, if you want to work on your career development, look for a coach who has experience helping others advance in their careers.

  2. Approach: Consider the coaching approach of the personal development coach. Some coaches may use more structured approaches, while others may be more flexible and adapt their approach to meet the needs of their clients. Choose a coach whose approach aligns with your preferences and goals.

  3. Personality: Personal development coaching involves a personal relationship between the coach and the client. It is important to find a coach with whom you feel comfortable and can build a rapport.

  4. Availability: Consider the coach’s availability and whether they offer sessions at times that are convenient for you.

  5. Cost: Personal development coaching can vary in cost, so it is important to consider your budget when choosing a coach.

It may also be helpful to speak with a few different coaches before making a decision, to get a sense of their style and approach and determine which one is the best fit for you.

"You don’t have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great.”

Need further help with personal development coaching? Get in touch. 

Book a no-obligation 30-minute call with Tammy Whalen Blake to discuss the best program for your personal development needs.

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Tammy Whalen Blake

Founder of go to yellow
Personal Development Coach

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The Fundamentals To Goal Setting

Redefining Success | Resorting Life Balance

The Fundamentals To Goal Setting

The Fundamentals To Goal Setting: 10 Steps to Achieving Impactful Goals

Many set the same New Year’s resolutions every year, hoping to see different results. They are stuck in the same cycle of setting goals, forgetting about them or failing to achieve or even to start them. What might not be surprising is that only 8% achieve their goals. 

It seems modern society encourages us to think about the next significant milestone or chase something new. However, we don’t think enough about accomplishing the goals with a strategy in mind. 

What is Goal Setting?

Goal setting is an intentional and detailed process that identifies a new pursuit, skill, or project and a plan for achieving it.

When you set goals, you take control of your life’s direction. Goals provide you with focus and clarity. Your decisions and actions should bring you closer to achieving those goals. 

“it is a never-ending path but we can enjoy the journey on the way” 

Getting positively uncomfortable

The real challenge is not deciding if you want the result but accepting the sacrifices required to achieve your goal. You must consider if you want the lifestyle that accompanies that goal. This is where planning is essential as it will identify what must change to accomplish the goal. 

Before the exhilarating and enchanting outcome, do you want the dull and unappealing process? Everybody wants a gold medal, but not everybody wants to train like an Olympian.

Goal setting is about choosing the rewards you want and the sacrifice you are willing to pay.

How to Set Goals You'll Follow in 10 Steps

1. Start With Why

To identify the goal you want to achieve, you need to start with why you want to achieve it in the first place. It has to be something meaningful to you and not what is expected. For example, if you consider being a parent in the next five years, your why might be healthy to keep up with your child’s play activities and sports. A parent would need plenty of energy from rest, mindfulness, diet, movement and more. An expectation could be societies pressure to be skinny. The latter isn’t your personal motivator and will cause you internal conflict when trying to achieve your goal. Whereas the former is a more compelling and exciting reason to be working on your health. 

2. Prioritise the Ultimate Goal

Before you set the Ultimate Goal, take a closer look at what you’re trying to achieve and ask yourself the following questions: 

  • Does the goal allow you to get closer to your why?
  • Is this goal something you genuinely want right now? 
  • Is it important enough for the necessary effort and lifestyle change? 

If you’re unwilling to put in the time and effort, it may not be worth pursuing. Everything in life comes down to priorities and what you would like to achieve – conscious choices and subconscious decisions. Life becomes a series of messy experiences you struggle to manage without setting goals or objectives. You become the plaything of coincidence. 

One of the most significant obstacles to achieving goals is other goals. Sometimes you can overestimate your achievements which leave you struggling with your time and attention. Whenever you work on a new goal, you are taking focus and energy from your other goals. 

One of the quickest ways to make progress on your Ultimate Goal is to wait on less essential goals and focus on one Ultimate Goal at a time. It would be best to reorganise your priorities to allow improvement to come faster because you are now fully committed. 

3. Process, Not Outcome

Focusing on the process is one of the most challenging parts of setting and achieving goals. Due to the nature of a goal, you start with the end in mind. However, it’s the tiny steps you take to get there that matter. For example, the outcome you want to achieve is confidence in large public speaking events. That’s the goal. But working towards this goal, you discover that you are most comfortable in small interactive groups. Did you fail at achieving this goal? Not if you believe in the power of the process. 

In good time, you will build up the courage to speak publicly to large audiences, but you’re less inclined to keep trying if you think you’ve failed. 

4. Plan For It

Many choose an Ultimate Goal but never create an action plan to determine how they will achieve it. Your action plan should include all the necessary steps you need to take to get there – no matter how small they may appear. Grab a piece of paper and get writing. This will help you with the next step. 

As mentioned earlier, you need to be sure you are willing your change your lifestyle to get closer to achieving your Ultimate Goal. Now is the time to create the Evolving Goals, which change as you grow. They are designed for the next three months and focus on the habit changes.

If you want to be that parent with high energy, the habit could focus on regular sleeping for the next three months.

If you want confidence in public speaking, the habit could be reading a script out loud at home. 

5. Habit Stacking

There was a study that asked the participants to complete the following: “During the next week, I will partake in at least 20 minutes of vigorous exercise on [DAY] at [TIME OF DAY] at/in [PLACE].” The conclusion of this research shows that you are between 2x to 3x more likely to stick to your goals if you make a specific plan for when, where, and how. 

After/Before [CURRENT HABIT], I will [NEW HABIT].

Here are some examples:

  • Sleep. After I have my dinner, I will read my book and rest my mind.
  • Meditation: Before I have my morning shower, I will meditate for ten minutes.
  • Situps: Before I make my bed, I will do 30 situps.
  • Water: Before I leave the house for work, I will drink some water.
  • Emails: After I’ve had my lunch, I will complete my emails. 
  • Job hunting: After I have my dinner, I will email my CV to the job I want.

Habit stacking and implementation intentions help us move from the goal in our heads to the specific process that will make it a reality.

6. Write Your Goals Down

When you write your goals down, they become real and tangible instead of a vague idea that lives in your mind. Once you’ve written your goals, keep them somewhere visible. Put them on your wardrobe doors, near your computer screen, or on the mirror in the bathroom for when you brush your teeth. Look at it weekly or, better yet, daily.

This tactic reminds you to keep working on your goals often. As you’re writing down your goals, use a positive tone, so you stay excited about achieving them.

7. Align Your Environment With Your Goals

Many of the decisions we make in our lives result from our surroundings.

Before sleeping, browsing social media is likely to be the default action if you go to bed with your phone in your hands. Eating is more likely the default action if your cupboards are filled with biscuits and cakes.

The same can be said for positive surroundings.

By storing a kettlebell next to your sofa, you are more likely to do kettlebell swings instead of sitting watching TV. Drinking water instead of coffee is more likely to be the default action if you have a bottle of water on your desk. 

8. Make It Public

You are more likely to stick to the goals if you tell someone about them. Share it on social media and provide updates. The encouragement can keep you accountable. 

9. Measure Your Goals

We all love to receive feedback – it is very human. The boost in our motivation is when we can see our progress. This doesn’t have to be validated by others. It can be an internal validation. Not everyone will understand your why as they have a different direction to travel in. Measurement is so critical for practical goal setting. By measuring your results, you get insight into whether you are making progress.

Check out the SMART goal setting PDF.

10. Take Action And Evolve Your Goals

Now that you’ve planned everything out, it’s time to take action. You didn’t go through all that work to forget about your goal. Every step you take should lead to another until you finish your Evolving Goal, and then it is time to repeat the process until you achieve the Ultimate Goal.

What shall you do now? 

Join the Goals & Accountability group for £39 per month or book in a call with me. I can help you find the right course of action for YOU. We can talk about your dreams, goals, desires and map out how you can achieve them.

Take the steps today to build your tomorrow!

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Tammy Whalen Blake

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Personal Development Coach

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Vanquish Procrastination

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Redefining Success | Resorting Life Balance

Vanquish procrastination

#5 Vanquish Procrastination

So, you’ve got a writing task or two that’s needing to be done, and well, em… you’ve got more than enough time to get them completed.


But, for some reason, this time seems to slip away, completely undetected and under the radar, until boom, you’re ferociously working at the speed of light with a few hours left.

And what’s more, it doesn’t happen now and again completely out of the blue. It’s a regular occurrence, popping its carefree head up too often.

Let me introduce you to the little old jiminy cricket that is procrastination…

What is procrastination?

Think of Procasti-Nation (procrastination) as the world we live in, and as you journey through, there are many regular stop-offs. 

You might visit places like: 

  • Snooze-Land
  • Rush-Zone
  • Perfection-Avenue
  • Consumption-Alley
  • Fear-City 
  • Snack-District

Sound familiar? 

Maybe not right now, but as you dive deeper, you will realise you’ve probably been on a 1st class ticket to more than one of these destinations many times.

Procrastination is when we choose to delay something important to a later date down the line favouring something else that’s easy and fun, providing instant gratification. 

It’s the opposite of motivation, or willingness to work.

Procrastination is the reason why many people find themselves scrabbling around at the last minute to meet deadlines after continuously making bad decisions whenever they had enough time to start with. 

It lives entirely in the present moment, has no memory of the past and has no knowledge of the future. 

Many people think that procrastination is a form of laziness, and while this can be true, often it’s not.

It’s not uncommon to find someone with high procrastination tendencies putting off writing their assignment instead of tidying their room.

Now you wouldn’t say cleaning your room is lazy, would you?

This is procrastination at its finest. Doing something completely unrelated to the task at hand, so you don’t have to do what actually needs doing.

Why do we procrastinate?

We procrastinate because it gives our minds some free time, a break from the tedious monotony of that dreaded task that needs doing.

It acts as relief and makes us happy in the short term.

It answers the fears and doubts we might have about not being able to complete our work.

Procrastination is the ultimate scapegoat. 

We do it because it’s usually always easy and convenient. 

Procrastination offers the opposite to the struggles of focus and hard work, and happens for many reasons:

  1. Lack of defined goals
  2. Feeling overwhelmed 
  3. Lack of foresight into the future 
  4. Accountability
  5. Habits 
  6. Mindset blocks 
  7. Lack of planning

Overall, we procrastinate because our motivation gets hindered by factors such as exhaustion and rewards that seem too far away at present. Fear of failure and anxiety take over and cause our minds to search for the quick fix solution.

Now you’re probably asking what causes all of this procrastination?

What causes procrastination?

7 causes of procrastination

What are the 4 types of procrastination?

#1. The anxious

Taking on work or specific tasks usually comes with a degree of anxiety or stress. But, it’s how you deal with this anxiety that determines the outcome for you. 

It’s one thing to meet this work head-on, but it’s also a lot easier to take the nearest cab to ‘Fear-City.’

“Let’s go there and keep worrying; that way, we’ll never have to take action and get the work done”, might be what you are telling yourself amidst all these fears.

Many people get so wrapped up in doubts about their abilities and how to manage their workload that it often leads to no free time, and you betcha — procrastination!

#2. The fun

This type of procrastinator wants to do anything but the task at hand. They would rather be doing all the fun stuff and not the boring work. 

I mean, sometimes it’s hard to argue with the option of going to the beach, or writing that 3000 word essay…

#3. The “plenty of time”

If you’re set a project deadline for a long way off, it can be difficult to kick yourself into gear and make a start.

This is where it’s all too easy to find yourself pulling up the handbrake and spending too much time in ‘Snack-District.’

Taking a little time out here and there will surely not have any dwindling effect on the overall project, right?

Wrong! 

This makes it very easy for procrastination to sink in, and you know what comes next.

Yea, the handbrake is getting nearly yanked off as you zoom for ‘Rush-Zone’ and that dreaded deadline in a few days.

#4. The perfectionist

Have you ever given something so much thought because you wanted it to be perfect that you overthink the entire situation and never end up doing what it is you set out to do in the first place?

This is slamming your foot hard on the gas and steering straight for ‘Perfection-Alley’ — in a nutshell.

Some people strive for perfection every time, which really isn’t possible.

Not only will it drive you completely bonkers in the process, but it will lead you into the deepest, darkest caverns of procrastination imaginable.

Effects of procrastination

Procrastination can have many different negative effects on us.

In fact, one study conducted by APA (american physiological association) indicates that 94% of people said procrastination harmed their happiness, and 18% said it had an extremely negative impact.

In the beginning, it might seem like closing that assignment down to go on YouTube is harmless. But over a prolonged period, this seemingly harmless act can spiral out of control quite quickly. 

And before you know it, you’re down the rabbit hole every time you need to be doing something productive.

The feelings we get from procrastination can be as such:

  • Guilt
  • Anger
  • Dread
  • Anxiety
  • Hatred

All these emotions are usually experienced by a person when it’s too late. They’ve put the thing off for too long, and now they see no way out. 

Can you see how procrastination can be severely damaging to your mental state and wellbeing? 

Is procrastination a mental illness?

It’s understandable why many people might think of procrastination as being a mental illness. But it’s not.

Procrastination is a bad habit usually formed over years of leaving tasks to the last minute before completion.

Yet, it’s important to understand that, while they’re not caused by procrastination, anxiety and depression can get worse through this habit.

Procrastination is a symptom, not a disorder. And you should look at what’s causing it in the first place?

Suppose depression is causing a severe lack of motivation and energy, and in turn, you are procrastinating a lot because of this. In that case, you need to tackle it before anything else!

ADHD and procrastination are also closely linked, but this is more to do with the fact that people with ADHD have a problem concentrating to begin with.

Naturally, with concentration issues, this leads to procrastination. 

How to overcome procrastination

We can take a few different measures to focus your mind, overcome procrastination, and get motivation back where it needs to be.

Create Timelines

Creating timelines is a great way to overcome procrastination.

Having something to use that will keep you accountable is great for motivation and a get-it-done attitude.

Timelines prevent us from racing into ‘Snooze-Land.’ 

I mean, when some things must be completed by a specific date, and it’s written down in front of us in black and white, there’s not much time for being lazy and sleeping.

When structuring these, avoid going too big and risk stretching out your time, giving procrastination a big heads up.

But also, be sure not to go too small either, so you don’t risk setting an unrealistic time to get the work done and cause more stress.

Set Smaller Goals

When you set goals that you are more than capable of, you set yourself up to succeed. 

You see, goals that you know are achievable get done.

If you set unrealistic goals, what are the chances of you going through with them? 

It’s better to meet your goals even if they aren’t as great as you would have liked for the time being than not to meet any of them at all. 

Reward Yourself

It would help if you got into the habit of rewarding yourself for small wins along the way. 

Too many of us undeservedly reward ourselves nowadays and not only does this mess with our procrastination habits, but it also creates a false sense of accomplishment. 

Create an excellent environment

Distractions play a big role in the procrastinator’s life, especially digital devices. With everything being one click of a button now, it’s no wonder procrastination is so easy these days.

Simply turning off notifications on your phone or putting it on airplane mode will help tremendously when battling procrastination. 

Keeping everything clean and tidy at your workstation is another excellent way to have an ideal environment and help you out. 

Your focus and mental clarity will be a lot better when not having to worry about whats were.

Have brain breaks 

Have you ever sat down for a good 5 hours of working? Seems almost impossible at times. But what if you broke those 5 hours down into 45 min sessions with a 15 min break between. 

This seems far less daunting than the initial 5 hours, and it will also help you keep contraction better.

Create a vision statement to help you stay on track

Now that we have identified what procrastination is and how it can detract from your daily productivity, this is an excellent opportunity for you to put a framework in place for going forward.

Your vision statements should include health, career, wealth, family, friends, personal growth, physical environment, health and romance aspirations ten years from now. 

Notice when procrastination shows up and how it can impact your ten-year vision. 

If you feel like you’re going around in circles, you’re not sure where to start, or maybe you’ve created your vision statement but would just like a second opinion from an expert. A coaching session is a great way to find clarity and talk over your goals.

"You don’t have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great.”

Need further help with setting your goals and being accountable? Get in touch. We have coaching services starting from £39 per month that will help you set compelling goals and achieve them with coaching techniques and a supportive community cheering you on.

Book a 30-minute call with me, Tammy Whalen Blake, to enrol you on the best program for your personal development.

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Tammy Whalen Blake

Founder of go to yellow
Personal Development Coach

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Boost Your Confidence

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Redefining Success | Resorting Life Balance

boost your confidence

#10 Boost Your Confidence

What is it that is holding you back? When I say ‘holding you back’, I mean, stopping you from fulfilling your true potential and realising your dreams? 

Most people hold themselves back because of a lack of confidence in themselves and their abilities. We’ve always been taught to follow the rules, speak when spoken to and to live within the confines of our station within society.

This is where the majority of people will stay, looking through the glass, wondering what life on the other side is like. 

For those that have rebelled against these views and have broken free of the metaphorical shackles, they have moulded their lives into whatever they have dared to dream. 

As we grow, we learn how the world works and what our capabilities are; but, the older we get, we start to forget that, as we learn, it takes time to understand and master a subject. We cannot know everything instantly.

Our lives are no exception yet we expect to be able to know everything about everything, either at the touch of a button or just through life experience. But, how can we ever know how to ‘be’ just by Googling the question?

Like all things, becoming the person we desire takes time and growing our confidence is no different. We need to understand that this trait isn’t something that is handed out to the privileged few but it’s within all of us from the start; we just need to learn how to discover it and use it wisely. Confidence is a skill that needs time to be learned and nurtured.

For example, do you remember learning to ride a bike as a child? I do; it was a confusing and oftentimes, painful experience. When I had learnt how to engage my brain and my feet together on the pedals, I was able to master riding unaided. This didn’t happen in 5 minutes; it happened over a long period of time with lots of support from loved ones as well as much practice from me. 

What I’m trying to get at is, YOU HAVE THE CONFIDENCE WITHIN YOU… you just need to find it and master it; just like riding a bike.

Within time and finding opportunities to push your boundaries, you will be able to recognise this confidence and start to feel more at ease with bringing it out into the world.

What can you do to find your confidence?

I’ve worked with many people that have experienced the same issue and with support and expert guidance, they have all been able to uncover aspects of themselves they didn’t believe existed. 

One client, Hannah, was in a dark place and had lost her self worth and the belief that she was capable of achieving her dreams. She was in a perpetual cycle of negative self-talk and had hit rock bottom. Just a few sessions later, we had identified the triggers for her lack of confidence and what she needed to do to silence the negative voices and she set her goals for what she wanted to achieve, thus rediscovering the fire inside of her. 

One of the things she said which I think we should all remember is …

“it is a never-ending path but we can enjoy the journey on the way” 

We need to remember that, just because we believe we are something, doesn’t mean we can’t invest in our own growth and transformation into what we want to be; it’s just a reminder that it is a journey and not an immediate result.

Just wanting to build on your own confidence is the best start to your journey. Get a pen and a notepad and jot down what your heart truly desires. Are there some wild dreams that you could never imagine being possible? Write them all down! This is YOUR list of dreams, set to become a tangible set of goals.

Next, you will need to think about each point you have written and identify why you haven’t pursued it or why it hasn’t previously been successful. What is it that has held you back? What stopped you from getting to the end goal?  

Here are some common thoughts that will slowly erode your confidence to push your boundaries. Which ones do you identify with?:

  • I’m not good enough
  • What will they think?
  • I’m not from the right background to achieve that
  • I wouldn’t know where to start with that so I’ll stay safe and not bother
  • I’m not intelligent enough
  • I haven’t got enough qualifications
  • I’ve failed at so many other things, I’d only fail again
  • I’m not brave enough

We all have doubts in ourselves from time to time but to let the negative rule our lives constantly will only lead to self-doubt and our goals remaining in the impossible dream category.

Now you have your written list of dreams, put it somewhere you will see it daily. Remind yourself what you want to achieve and who you want to be. This reminder will be a daily catalyst to make the changes you need, in order to achieve your dreams.

Take it to the next level...

Now, make a list of goals that will help you achieve the points on your list. Identify where you would need to step out of your comfort zone and make sure you keep these as a priority. Even if it makes you feel on edge about ticking these off, try and push yourself to get them done, sooner rather than later. 

Let’s look at an example:

Jonny runs regularly to keep fit but has always wanted to run a marathon. He has never had the confidence to consider it before as He doesn’t feel he could ever run the whole distance and worries that his friends and family would laugh at the thought of it. 

By taking the simple steps above, Jonny writes down his main goal of running the London Marathon. He then breaks it down into smaller goals:

  • Make an application for the marathon for next year
  • Tell his closest family and friends that he has applied – celebrate it on social media
  • Hire a personal trainer for two sessions a month for accountability
  • Increase daily runs by 10 minutes per day
  • Complete a half marathon within the next 6 months
  • Run a practice distance at least once a month within 6 months

As Jonny ticks off each of the goals to realise his dream, he is building his confidence to actually complete the marathon. 

As you achieve each goal, make sure to reflect on your progress and look at how you accomplished it. How does it make you feel to tick it off the list? What did you do that took you out of your comfort zone? How did this build your confidence? 

You can now see how to get to where you want to be and what are the blockades in the way. Building your confidence slowly will give you the momentum to move from one thing to the next, smashing through the barriers that once held you in limbo.

By looking at the destination, we can map out how we can get there. We might hit a few bumps in the road but we know that if we slow down, identify the risk, continue slowly and surely, we will get to the other side. This is how we grow and evolve as humans. 

Take a look at my video about overcoming my fear of online videos. 

What will you do now? You’ve identified to yourself that you want to build your confidence to realise your dreams. Going it alone is possible but can be scary without the right support.

Make sure you get your closest friends and family onboard and understand what it is that you are looking to achieve and tell them how they can best support you.

Book in a call with me. We can chat about where your limiting beliefs have come from and I can help you find the right course of action for YOU. We can talk about your dreams, goals, desires and map out how you can achieve what you may be thinking is impossible.

Take the steps today to build your tomorrow!

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Tammy Whalen Blake

Founder of go to yellow
Personal Development Coach

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It's Your Turn

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The Problem With Goal Setting

The Problem With Goal Setting

The Problem with goal-setting 1

THE PROBLEM WITH GOAL-SETTING

While 93% of the population set New Year’s resolutions, only 8% go on to achieve. So why don’t these goals get executed?  Perhaps many people have been following an ineffective approach. 

Let’s explore the reason why goals often don’t get implemented and what you can do differently.  

WHAT vs WHY? 

The goal is WHAT you want to achieve.  But lots of WHATs are not done because the WHY is not clear.  Here’s a common example. You know that daily exercise is good for you.  Many of you may have even set a daily goal to exercise. But only some of you are doing it.  Maybe you have a clear WHY, like a recent accident that made you realise how important it is to keep healthy… or trying to fit into a dress for a special event…  your WHY is very clear. 

But others fail to achieve their goal because they had less clarity on the WHY, or perhaps not emotionally-attached to their WHY.  So the WHAT is just an activity without a clear purpose. And before you know it, other things take priority.  

So before you set a goal, you must know why you are doing it in the first place. More importantly, it must be something that motivates YOU. Something deep and meaningful. 

There is a process I use to guide people to dig deep to their WHY.  And it’s surprising that when we get to your WHY, you’ll discover that your goals change.  You may not want to achieve the old WHAT you had previously planned. 

This may seem relatively simple, doesn’t it? But the challenge of digging your own WHY is that you stop before you get to the core and settle for a superficial WHY.  And this is ineffective because it doesn’t give you the motivation to achieve your WHAT, especially when distractions come. 

Ready to go deeper on this topic? 

Let me help you dig your WHY.  I will give you 30 minutes of my time free of charge and, in return, you will give me an open mind to explore yourselves deeper.  I only have 5 slots a week to do this, so make sure you book one of them. I would like you to feel what it’s like to get clarity and see the impact it makes to your goals. 

Schedule your call here https://gotoyellow.co.uk/schedule-a-call/ and let’s start your 2020 off to a great start.

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Tammy Whalen Blake

Founder of go to yellow
Personal Development Coach