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#13 The Fundamentals To Goal Setting

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The Fundamentals To Goal Setting

The Fundamentals To Goal Setting: 10 Steps to Achieving Impactful Goals

Many set the same New Year’s resolutions every year, hoping to see different results. They are stuck in the same cycle of setting goals, forgetting about them or failing to achieve or even to start them. What might not be surprising is that only 8% achieve their goals. 

It seems modern society encourages us to think about the next significant milestone or chase something new. However, we don’t think enough about accomplishing the goals with a strategy in mind. 

What is Goal Setting?

Goal setting is an intentional and detailed process that identifies a new pursuit, skill, or project and a plan for achieving it.

When you set goals, you take control of your life’s direction. Goals provide you with focus and clarity. Your decisions and actions should bring you closer to achieving those goals. 

“it is a never-ending path but we can enjoy the journey on the way” 

Hannah - Client

Getting positively uncomfortable

The real challenge is not deciding if you want the result but accepting the sacrifices required to achieve your goal. You must consider if you want the lifestyle that accompanies that goal. This is where planning is essential as it will identify what must change to accomplish the goal. 

Before the exhilarating and enchanting outcome, do you want the dull and unappealing process? Everybody wants a gold medal, but not everybody wants to train like an Olympian.

Goal setting is about choosing the rewards you want and the sacrifice you are willing to pay.

How to Set Goals You'll Follow in 10 Steps

1. Start With Why

To identify the goal you want to achieve, you need to start with why you want to achieve it in the first place. It has to be something meaningful to you and not what is expected. For example, if you consider being a parent in the next five years, your why might be healthy to keep up with your child’s play activities and sports. A parent would need plenty of energy from rest, mindfulness, diet, movement and more. An expectation could be societies pressure to be skinny. The latter isn’t your personal motivator and will cause you internal conflict when trying to achieve your goal. Whereas the former is a more compelling and exciting reason to be working on your health. 

2. Prioritise the Ultimate Goal

Before you set the Ultimate Goal, take a closer look at what you’re trying to achieve and ask yourself the following questions: 

  • Does the goal allow you to get closer to your why?
  • Is this goal something you genuinely want right now? 
  • Is it important enough for the necessary effort and lifestyle change? 

If you’re unwilling to put in the time and effort, it may not be worth pursuing. Everything in life comes down to priorities and what you would like to achieve – conscious choices and subconscious decisions. Life becomes a series of messy experiences you struggle to manage without setting goals or objectives. You become the plaything of coincidence. 

One of the most significant obstacles to achieving goals is other goals. Sometimes you can overestimate your achievements which leave you struggling with your time and attention. Whenever you work on a new goal, you are taking focus and energy from your other goals. 

One of the quickest ways to make progress on your Ultimate Goal is to wait on less essential goals and focus on one Ultimate Goal at a time. It would be best to reorganise your priorities to allow improvement to come faster because you are now fully committed. 

3. Process, Not Outcome

Focusing on the process is one of the most challenging parts of setting and achieving goals. Due to the nature of a goal, you start with the end in mind. However, it’s the tiny steps you take to get there that matter. For example, the outcome you want to achieve is confidence in large public speaking events. That’s the goal. But working towards this goal, you discover that you are most comfortable in small interactive groups. Did you fail at achieving this goal? Not if you believe in the power of the process. 

In good time, you will build up the courage to speak publicly to large audiences, but you’re less inclined to keep trying if you think you’ve failed. 

4. Plan For It

Many choose an Ultimate Goal but never create an action plan to determine how they will achieve it. Your action plan should include all the necessary steps you need to take to get there – no matter how small they may appear. Grab a piece of paper and get writing. This will help you with the next step. 

As mentioned earlier, you need to be sure you are willing your change your lifestyle to get closer to achieving your Ultimate Goal. Now is the time to create the Evolving Goals, which change as you grow. They are designed for the next three months and focus on the habit changes.

If you want to be that parent with high energy, the habit could focus on regular sleeping for the next three months.

If you want confidence in public speaking, the habit could be reading a script out loud at home. 

5. Habit Stacking

There was a study that asked the participants to complete the following: “During the next week, I will partake in at least 20 minutes of vigorous exercise on [DAY] at [TIME OF DAY] at/in [PLACE].” The conclusion of this research shows that you are between 2x to 3x more likely to stick to your goals if you make a specific plan for when, where, and how. 

After/Before [CURRENT HABIT], I will [NEW HABIT].

Here are some examples:

  • Sleep. After I have my dinner, I will read my book and rest my mind.
  • Meditation: Before I have my morning shower, I will meditate for ten minutes.
  • Situps: Before I make my bed, I will do 30 situps.
  • Water: Before I leave the house for work, I will drink some water.
  • Emails: After I’ve had my lunch, I will complete my emails. 
  • Job hunting: After I have my dinner, I will email my CV to the job I want.

Habit stacking and implementation intentions help us move from the goal in our heads to the specific process that will make it a reality.

6. Write Your Goals Down

When you write your goals down, they become real and tangible instead of a vague idea that lives in your mind. Once you’ve written your goals, keep them somewhere visible. Put them on your wardrobe doors, near your computer screen, or on the mirror in the bathroom for when you brush your teeth. Look at it weekly or, better yet, daily.

This tactic reminds you to keep working on your goals often. As you’re writing down your goals, use a positive tone, so you stay excited about achieving them.

7. Align Your Environment With Your Goals

Many of the decisions we make in our lives result from our surroundings.

Before sleeping, browsing social media is likely to be the default action if you go to bed with your phone in your hands. Eating is more likely the default action if your cupboards are filled with biscuits and cakes.

The same can be said for positive surroundings.

By storing a kettlebell next to your sofa, you are more likely to do kettlebell swings instead of sitting watching TV. Drinking water instead of coffee is more likely to be the default action if you have a bottle of water on your desk. 

8. Make It Public

You are more likely to stick to the goals if you tell someone about them. Share it on social media and provide updates. The encouragement can keep you accountable. 

9. Measure Your Goals

We all love to receive feedback – it is very human. The boost in our motivation is when we can see our progress. This doesn’t have to be validated by others. It can be an internal validation. Not everyone will understand your why as they have a different direction to travel in. Measurement is so critical for practical goal setting. By measuring your results, you get insight into whether you are making progress.

Check out the SMART goal setting PDF.

10. Take Action And Evolve Your Goals

Now that you’ve planned everything out, it’s time to take action. You didn’t go through all that work to forget about your goal. Every step you take should lead to another until you finish your Evolving Goal, and then it is time to repeat the process until you achieve the Ultimate Goal.

What shall you do now? 

Join the Goals & Accountability group for £39 per month or book in a call with me. I can help you find the right course of action for YOU. We can talk about your dreams, goals, desires and map out how you can achieve them.

Take the steps today to build your tomorrow!

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Tammy Whalen Blake

Tammy Whalen Blake

Founder of go to yellow
Personal Development Coach

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#10 Boost Your Confidence

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Redefining Success | Resorting Life Balance

boost your confidence

#10 Boost Your Confidence

What is it that is holding you back? When I say ‘holding you back’, I mean, stopping you from fulfilling your true potential and realising your dreams? 

Most people hold themselves back because of a lack of confidence in themselves and their abilities. We’ve always been taught to follow the rules, speak when spoken to and to live within the confines of our station within society.

This is where the majority of people will stay, looking through the glass, wondering what life on the other side is like. 

For those that have rebelled against these views and have broken free of the metaphorical shackles, they have moulded their lives into whatever they have dared to dream. 

As we grow, we learn how the world works and what our capabilities are; but, the older we get, we start to forget that, as we learn, it takes time to understand and master a subject. We cannot know everything instantly.

Our lives are no exception yet we expect to be able to know everything about everything, either at the touch of a button or just through life experience. But, how can we ever know how to ‘be’ just by Googling the question?

Like all things, becoming the person we desire takes time and growing our confidence is no different. We need to understand that this trait isn’t something that is handed out to the privileged few but it’s within all of us from the start; we just need to learn how to discover it and use it wisely. Confidence is a skill that needs time to be learned and nurtured.

For example, do you remember learning to ride a bike as a child? I do; it was a confusing and oftentimes, painful experience. When I had learnt how to engage my brain and my feet together on the pedals, I was able to master riding unaided. This didn’t happen in 5 minutes; it happened over a long period of time with lots of support from loved ones as well as much practice from me. 

What I’m trying to get at is, YOU HAVE THE CONFIDENCE WITHIN YOU… you just need to find it and master it; just like riding a bike.

Within time and finding opportunities to push your boundaries, you will be able to recognise this confidence and start to feel more at ease with bringing it out into the world.

What can you do to find your confidence?

I’ve worked with many people that have experienced the same issue and with support and expert guidance, they have all been able to uncover aspects of themselves they didn’t believe existed. 

One client, Hannah, was in a dark place and had lost her self worth and the belief that she was capable of achieving her dreams. She was in a perpetual cycle of negative self-talk and had hit rock bottom. Just a few sessions later, we had identified the triggers for her lack of confidence and what she needed to do to silence the negative voices and she set her goals for what she wanted to achieve, thus rediscovering the fire inside of her. 

One of the things she said which I think we should all remember is …

“it is a never-ending path but we can enjoy the journey on the way” 

Hannah

We need to remember that, just because we believe we are something, doesn’t mean we can’t invest in our own growth and transformation into what we want to be; it’s just a reminder that it is a journey and not an immediate result.

Just wanting to build on your own confidence is the best start to your journey. Get a pen and a notepad and jot down what your heart truly desires. Are there some wild dreams that you could never imagine being possible? Write them all down! This is YOUR list of dreams, set to become a tangible set of goals.

Next, you will need to think about each point you have written and identify why you haven’t pursued it or why it hasn’t previously been successful. What is it that has held you back? What stopped you from getting to the end goal?  

Here are some common thoughts that will slowly erode your confidence to push your boundaries. Which ones do you identify with?:

  • I’m not good enough
  • What will they think?
  • I’m not from the right background to achieve that
  • I wouldn’t know where to start with that so I’ll stay safe and not bother
  • I’m not intelligent enough
  • I haven’t got enough qualifications
  • I’ve failed at so many other things, I’d only fail again
  • I’m not brave enough

We all have doubts in ourselves from time to time but to let the negative rule our lives constantly will only lead to self-doubt and our goals remaining in the impossible dream category.

Now you have your written list of dreams, put it somewhere you will see it daily. Remind yourself what you want to achieve and who you want to be. This reminder will be a daily catalyst to make the changes you need, in order to achieve your dreams.

Take it to the next level...

Now, make a list of goals that will help you achieve the points on your list. Identify where you would need to step out of your comfort zone and make sure you keep these as a priority. Even if it makes you feel on edge about ticking these off, try and push yourself to get them done, sooner rather than later. 

Let’s look at an example:

Jonny runs regularly to keep fit but has always wanted to run a marathon. He has never had the confidence to consider it before as He doesn’t feel he could ever run the whole distance and worries that his friends and family would laugh at the thought of it. 

By taking the simple steps above, Jonny writes down his main goal of running the London Marathon. He then breaks it down into smaller goals:

  • Make an application for the marathon for next year
  • Tell his closest family and friends that he has applied – celebrate it on social media
  • Hire a personal trainer for two sessions a month for accountability
  • Increase daily runs by 10 minutes per day
  • Complete a half marathon within the next 6 months
  • Run a practice distance at least once a month within 6 months

As Jonny ticks off each of the goals to realise his dream, he is building his confidence to actually complete the marathon. 

As you achieve each goal, make sure to reflect on your progress and look at how you accomplished it. How does it make you feel to tick it off the list? What did you do that took you out of your comfort zone? How did this build your confidence? 

You can now see how to get to where you want to be and what are the blockades in the way. Building your confidence slowly will give you the momentum to move from one thing to the next, smashing through the barriers that once held you in limbo.

By looking at the destination, we can map out how we can get there. We might hit a few bumps in the road but we know that if we slow down, identify the risk, continue slowly and surely, we will get to the other side. This is how we grow and evolve as humans. 

Take a look at my video about overcoming my fear of online videos. 

What will you do now? You’ve identified to yourself that you want to build your confidence to realise your dreams. Going it alone is possible but can be scary without the right support.

Make sure you get your closest friends and family onboard and understand what it is that you are looking to achieve and tell them how they can best support you.

Book in a call with me. We can chat about where your limiting beliefs have come from and I can help you find the right course of action for YOU. We can talk about your dreams, goals, desires and map out how you can achieve what you may be thinking is impossible.

Take the steps today to build your tomorrow!

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Tammy Whalen Blake

Tammy Whalen Blake

Founder of go to yellow
Personal Development Coach

Hear what others have to say...

client success stories

It's Your Turn