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An opportunity in redundancy

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Redefining Success | Resorting Life Balance

an opportunity in redundancy

#11 An Opportunity in Redundancy

Ten years ago, I was climbing the ladder of life. Yes, the same ladder we’re told will carry us to success and financial freedom. Working for a global tech company, I was on a dream salary and living the lifestyle that went with it: luxury cars, travelling the world, Michelin restaurants, flying helicopters – I’m sure you get the idea. I believed my worth was determined by my status and my success at work.

It’s funny how we are conditioned to believe this story, whether it feels right or not!

Everything was going great until redundancy hit me like a ton of bricks. The fall from grace smashed my confidence and took me on a rollercoaster of ups and downs. I naïvely believed it couldn’t happen to me. I had always felt safe and secure.

At first, I had a financial security blanket to keep me afloat, but the pain of what I perceived to be failure crippled me mentally and physically. My life had been taken away in a snap. Some days I would be at peace and have a sense of hope; other days would end at the bottom of a crisp packet with a side of self-pity. I can confirm Smarties definitely don’t have the answer!

Rejection felt like a physical attack, and I needed time to heal. Having no visible wounds didn’t make it hurt any less. As the days and weeks rolled past, I realised that being bitter and angry was not going to help me; I decided to use my emotions in a positive way to motivate and drive me forward.

CREATING A NEW PATH

As my focus started to return, I saw a new vision of how life could be. In time, I realised what I perceived to be a personal failure was actually a failure of the company I had invested my life in.

 

As the fog lifted, I found a force at work, shifting my vision of life and helping me to see the lessons I had been learning. The universe was sending me subtle messages that became clearer the more I tuned in. This was my turning point, and, somehow, I knew I’d been chasing the wrong dream, a dream that was never going to lead to total fulfilment.

 

You see, while I’d had many fulfilling experiences on my journey, deep down, I realised none of them gave me total life fulfilment. And that’s what I wanted. I needed to thrive on the pain of my experience to become the person I never knew I was born to be.

 

Now, I live my passion. I coach others and help them find their own sense of success and balance. 

Without the dark, there is no light, and now I can see my strength has come from my adversities.

John Doe

Finding your unique purpose is key, but it can be misaligned if you don’t pay enough attention to what you really want – and ignore what others insist you want. Whilst the process of redundancy was a hard lesson, it also gave me the time and space to rediscover myself.

 

Look for the lesson in every situation. During times of struggle, it may not be clear, so you need to actively ask yourself ‘what have I learnt?’ to learn the most about yourself.

 

Keep moving forward and grasp opportunities as they arise and make sure you step outside your comfort zone once in a while. Success will come when you are comfortable with who you are and your abilities. Without testing yourself, you’ll never know what you’re capable of. Too often, we try to mould ourselves to fit the ideals of others, we rely on external validation. It holds us back from realising our dreams and confuses our true desires, so we end up overworked and unfulfilled.

 

For me, life today looks a little different to the original plan, but it is so much better than I could have imagined. I learnt the hard way, but now I see the bigger picture and know I have walked the right path to get to where I am. I know the future is bright, and I can’t wait to bask in the glow!

FIND YOUR PASSION AND PURPOSE

Know that you are not alone in this journey and it is OK to take time to think through your next steps. Feel what you need to feel and take action when you are open to change.

When you are, get in touch. Let me give you 60 minutes of my time to listen to your situation and give you guidance. 

If you want to get ahead of the curve, book on the same coaching program that took me from lost, to finding my passion and purpose. You can find out more here COACHING PROGRAMS 

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Tammy Whalen Blake

Tammy Whalen Blake

Founder of go to yellow
Personal Development Coach

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Don’t Let Fear Hold You Back

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Don’t Let Fear Hold You Back

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Our brains can detect potentially dangerous situations and our natural instinct is to stay safe. So when the going gets tough, guess what we will do? 

Yep, we will keep ourselves in our comfort zone!

The zone of no growth.

Yellow people actively reflect and plan for the future. They identify what is holding them back and are ruthless on their journey to success. 

We all have some or all of the 7 fears types. The challenge we have is allowing fears to control us instead of managing them.

When we crush fears, it allows us to get through the storm to enjoy the beauty in life.

What personally held me back for many years was being judged and not accepted, in society and within my career. So I stayed safe at the detriment of my own wellbeing and career development. It was me who lost in that situation.

The day I woke up to my fears, I learned how to use them to my advantage so that my life started to change for the better. 

I launched my own business in a field that I had never worked in before. I knew my passion, and I owned my fears.

Are you ready to be bold too?

So what are the 7 types of fear?

The procrastinator

The Procrastinator is closely linked with the perfectionist. These people must perfect everything, and so obsess with the end product. The planning stages never quite gets finished or if they do start, they struggle to stop until it has been “perfected” to their very high standards. 

The Rule Follower 

is exactly as it sounds! Compelled to act and behave accordingly to the clear definitions of what’s right and wrong, even if it’s at the expense of your own success. Rule followers constantly think about making the right decision and what they might miss out on if they took the one option and not the other. 

People Pleaser

Struggling with the fear of being judged or worry about what others think about you. God forbid someone might be disappointed – people-pleasers would do whatever the other wants instead. Saying no is a challenge. Having boundaries even harder. 

Pessimist

Are fearful of adversity or pain. Hard times in life feel more like stop signs rather than stepping stones to success. They believe that old problems get in the way of them moving forward.

An outcast

is common for entrepreneurs. Others see them as fearless but deep down, an outcast is afraid of rejection so they push away people first. Asking for help is another problem to overcome. Trusting others to achieve an outcome is a constant internal battle when they want to do it all themselves. 

^ this was me! I felt like I was not good enough in my role, and if I exposed myself, I may be fired. I never asked for help and went on to limit my personal and career development 🙁

Self-Doubters

The deep feelings of insecurity about their capabilities. Seeing the world as an opportunity is difficult when they are so “stuck” in moving forward. Judging others who take big leaps is a way of hiding their own fears.

Excuse Maker 

We all know a few of these. Excuse makers rarely take responsibility for their life choices and goals are a mammoth challenge. Instead of taking the bold step to lead, they take a “laid back” approach to life. They find it easier for others to make decisions for them. Excuse makers always find a reason to not start, they tend to be in lack of something like money, time, a team etc. 

Each of these fears requires a particular thought pattern to reprogramme it. 

The main thing to note is that without knowing which fear is holding you back and learning how to step out of your comfort zone, you will continue to repeat the same things over and over again. 

WANT TO LEARN YOUR FEAR TYPE & WHAT YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT?

Schedule your call with me, go through a questionnaire to identify your fear type and together we can devise a plan to overcome the fear in order to achieve your biggest goals. 

BOOK TODAY HERE >>> gotoyellow.co.uk/schedule-a-call

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Tammy Whalen Blake

Founder of go to yellow
Personal Development Coach

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You Can Make An Impact

how to make an impact

You Can Make An Impact

If you feel like your voice will not be heard, that you have no authority or feel like you’re too young…. Remember this girl, Greta Thunberg.

A 17-year-old Swedish environmental activist on climate change whose campaigning has gained international awareness. She began her journey by asking her parents to make lifestyle choices to reduce their carbon footprint. From there she started spending her school days outside Swedish parliament and then regular student strikes every week around the world began. 

Today, she held a speech and a march in Bristol with an enthusiastic audience of between 15,000 – 30,000 people.

Her ask of people is to act to save the planet. 

“This is an emergency. People are already suffering and dying from the consequences of the climate and environmental emergency but it will get worse.”

Furthermore, she comments about how our politicians and those in power for betraying the world’s youth. 

“This emergency is being completely ignored by politicians, the media and those in power.” “World leaders are behaving like children, so it falls on us to be the adults in the room.”

Her audience is captivated and supportive of the climate change movement. 

What makes Greta Thunberg different?

Notice how she has built an audience with mixed ages, ethnic backgrounds and from around the world. She leads with her purpose, has massive passion in her heart, addresses a big problem and shows up! This is the recipe for your movement, amongst other things, but this is a great starting point. 

Greta is no different from you. 

You have the power to start that business you’ve dreamed of, to add value to the executive board meetings, to start a local change campaign. 

Whatever it might be. You can become a leader with your superpowers!

But I don’t know what my superpowers are, Tammy!

I can relate to those who feel insignificant. 

I was a supressed saleswoman for a long time. The senior male decision-makers would ask my male counterparts for advice and solutions rather than me. In the end, I adopted a masculine approach to get noticed. I felt as though I couldn’t bring my unique self to a meeting, a negotiation or even at socials. If I wanted authority I had to dress like a businesswoman, speak logically and direct, I had to brush up my knowledge on cars and Rolex watches and I laughed at the sexual innuendos. Just to be accepted. 

I became conditioned to being this person and justifying it as normal. I couldn’t see the impact it had on my uniqueness and finding my superpowers.

Had I realised the only block in my way was me, I would have done things differently.

After taking time to rebrand who I am today (because we evolve over time) and by going through the Focus & Direction program, I now embrace and leverage my uniqueness. Not only do I have my own thriving business with a mission just like Greta Thunberg, but I also feel alive by being my true self. 

People follow my movement and are awakened to a new way of thinking and being in this modern world. I may be small today with lots of work to do, but I will have a large movement in good time. 

And just like Greta Thunberg, I lead with purpose, massive passion in my heart, address a big problem and show up.

But I don’t have the resources!

Granted, Greta Thunberg has a team supporting her movement but once upon a time not so long ago, it started with just Greta.

The single biggest inspiration is seeing the impact. Once one person’s life is changed, you can’t stop. They will remember you forever and be forever grateful. You know that there are many other people waiting for your help and so you lead with passion.

You just need to start and keep up the momentum. Where you focus your mind, energy will flow to keep pursuing your passion. Resources will stop becoming your problem when you hone in on your movement. 

So remember, it only takes one person to start an ovation. Eventually, there will be two, three and four more. Until the whole crowd will be on their feet. 

I hope I’ve instilled a new belief, that no matter your age, you have the power to start a movement.

Start your standing ovation today!

NEED FURTHER HELP?

Uncover your superpowers with Tammy in a 60 minute free coaching session and start living the life designed by you, for you and with a lasting impact!

BOOK TODAY HERE >>> gotoyellow.co.uk/schedule-a-call

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Personal Development Coach

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The Problem With Goal Setting

The Problem With Goal Setting

The Problem with goal-setting 1

THE PROBLEM WITH GOAL-SETTING

While 93% of the population set New Year’s resolutions, only 8% go on to achieve. So why don’t these goals get executed?  Perhaps many people have been following an ineffective approach. 

Let’s explore the reason why goals often don’t get implemented and what you can do differently.  

WHAT vs WHY? 

The goal is WHAT you want to achieve.  But lots of WHATs are not done because the WHY is not clear.  Here’s a common example. You know that daily exercise is good for you.  Many of you may have even set a daily goal to exercise. But only some of you are doing it.  Maybe you have a clear WHY, like a recent accident that made you realise how important it is to keep healthy… or trying to fit into a dress for a special event…  your WHY is very clear. 

But others fail to achieve their goal because they had less clarity on the WHY, or perhaps not emotionally-attached to their WHY.  So the WHAT is just an activity without a clear purpose. And before you know it, other things take priority.  

So before you set a goal, you must know why you are doing it in the first place. More importantly, it must be something that motivates YOU. Something deep and meaningful. 

There is a process I use to guide people to dig deep to their WHY.  And it’s surprising that when we get to your WHY, you’ll discover that your goals change.  You may not want to achieve the old WHAT you had previously planned. 

This may seem relatively simple, doesn’t it? But the challenge of digging your own WHY is that you stop before you get to the core and settle for a superficial WHY.  And this is ineffective because it doesn’t give you the motivation to achieve your WHAT, especially when distractions come. 

Ready to go deeper on this topic? 

Let me help you dig your WHY.  I will give you 30 minutes of my time free of charge and, in return, you will give me an open mind to explore yourselves deeper.  I only have 5 slots a week to do this, so make sure you book one of them. I would like you to feel what it’s like to get clarity and see the impact it makes to your goals. 

Schedule your call here https://gotoyellow.co.uk/schedule-a-call/ and let’s start your 2020 off to a great start.

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Personal Development Coach

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Discovering Your Vision

Discovering Your Vision

1.-Mastermind-images-3

While 93% of the population set New Year’s resolutions, only 8% go on to achieve. What makes them different?

Until today, we have been following an ineffective approach. Before you set a goal, you must know why you are doing it in the first place. More importantly, it must be something that motivates YOU. Something deep and meaningful. 

The key I am going to share with you today is the driving force behind powerful goals – create a VISION for YOUR life. 

If you do not know where you are going, unfortunately, you are influenced by other people’s vision, the latest fad or culture expectation. This is neither healthy or sustainable. 

It is like driving with a blindfold on, with several co-drivers giving you guidance, hoping you’ll arrive at your destination. When you arrive at the destination, you realise you are not in the right place, leaving you feeling lost, stuck and deflated. Furthermore, you realise have wasted your precious time and energy and must start again. 

Why waste years of driving many roads, only to find out that you will arrive at the wrong location?

There is a more effective approach.

Get back in the driving seat, and steer yourself to a more fulfilling and purposeful life!

Here are the 5 keys leaders use to get ahead in life:

  1. Your Vision Awakened

To discover your vision you must truly understand your personal values, meaningful areas of your life to invest in (health, wealth, relationships, career etc), skills, passion and interests. 

  • Write a 10-year vision that is beyond what you believe to be obtainable (written in the present tense),
  • a 2-5 year mission of how you are going to live in order to achieve the vision, and
  • create a vision board!

When you are excited every time you read your vision and mission statements, it is then that you have truly grasped who you are and what the future will be. 

Once you have your statements, it is time to get creative. 

It is a simple as adding images of your ideal life, belongings, goals and affirmations onto a board or book.

Once created, display somewhere where you often go to remind you of the vision. Spend time before sleeping visualising each image as if you’ve absolutely mastered the act and achieved success. This will awaken the reticular activating system (RAS) – the part of your brain that will cut out distractions and see opportunities clearer. 

Like blinkers on a horse. You’ll be sure of the direction to your destination. 

         2. Get a Coach

It is no easy task in developing a clear picture of what you want the future to be, one that is authentic and without an expectation.

Often than not, those who do it alone, get caught in the same trap of travelling in someone else direction because they are unable to recognise what they truly want. 

Equally, it is challenging to know what is an actual limitation, and one that is just your negative narrative. 

Negative narratives can be anything from childhood conditioning, the identity you hold onto, and your beliefs. 

A coach will guide you to an empowering vision

            3. Power of Communication 

Being able to communicate a vision to others is advantageous. This is something that sets a leader apart. Leaders master the ability to share a clear and exciting vision for the future, and the ability to communicate effectively. 

Honouring your vision every day will have a positive effect across your peers, employees and personal relationships. Shifting peoples beliefs with possibilities, of what can be and will be, arouses emotion and motivates people to be their best selves. They will see this vision as belonging to them and will serve you in closing the gaps. 

Equally, your vision can repel others. This is good! You do not want people wasting your time and energy if they are not on the same journey. Reduce the number of stop signs and lighten your load, save yourself some fuel on your journey to success. 

           4. Forget Focusing on The Money

Of course, money is important. It is far more rewarding to be true to yourself and developing a life you desire, than focusing on the money. 

Money will come when you are authentic.

When you raise your standards, to be the best in business, you’ll only accept greatness. 

By not focusing on the money requires a resourceful way of thinking – the kind of thinking innovators have. Better decisions will be made with this mindset. 

          5. Keep Your Posture 

During times of hardship, conflict and crisis, leaders thrive most when they remain calm. In a study at Stanford Business School, they examined the qualities in leadership. It concluded with two qualities for success are putting a team together and patience under pressure.

Others observe greatly during these times, your next move is being recorded by many. 

“If you can keep your head when all around you are losing theirs and blaming it on you, then the world is yours and all that’s in it.”

To operate calmly, you MUST know where you are going.

Remember …the first key is most important before the following four. 

And if you are not convinced…

Who is a world leader at what they do?

Tesla.

Tesla’s vision statement is “to create the most compelling car company of the 21st century by driving the world’s transition to electric vehicles.” and their mission, “to accelerate the world’s transition to sustainable energy.”

Tesla is true to their vision, they communicate effectively, they influence and inspire the best, it is never about the money but rather the environment. They are innovators. They are leaders.

Do you want to be a leader or a follower?

Well, now you know where it starts. It is not about goal-setting, but rather a vision of your future. Goal-setting is the next phase.

Ready to go deeper on this topic? 

Work with me to unlock your greatest self, with Your Vision Awakened Workshop:

https://gotoyellow.co.uk/your-vision-awakened

Get back in the driving seat, and steer yourself to a more fulfilling and purposeful life!

Book your space on the workshop today – Your Vision Awakened

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Founder of go to yellow
Personal Development Coach

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Delivering On Diversity – BeOnBoard

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Delivering On Diversity – BeOnBoard

BeOnBoard-Kalpna-Woolfe-Tammy

Today has been incredible; I am inspired, enlightened and accountable. I will explain why and hopefully I can share this positive energy with you.

Upon meeting the remarkable Kalpna Woolf, CEO of BeOnBoard at Bristol’s Women’s Business Club, I connected with her energy and passion for more diversity in leadership. 

“It is an indisputable fact that diversity on Boards drives greater innovation, attracts a superior talent pool and deliver increased profitability. BeOnBoard is a game-changer in terms of social and economic impact in the city, it will finally allow people with leadership skills from every gender and ethnic background to break through the glass ceilings and add the undeniable value of diversity of thought to the shaping of our future business economy.”

– KALPNA WOOLF, CEO AND FOUNDER

Being young (or at least in comparison to many in leadership roles) and passionate about levelling-up women in a masculine world, the dots connected. My mission to support females to become leaders and Kalpna’s mission to deliver on diversity at leadership and board-level aligned beautifully. 

I purchased my ticket to learn about the challenges with identifying emerging leaders from diverse backgrounds, supporting their development to be board-ready, and providing a network platform to connect business Boards to potential Board members.

Now I am home reflecting, the whole day has been an eye-opener. I was naive to limit my thinking. Some, if not all, of my a-ha moments might inspire change for you and your organisation. 

The first impressions were set high, with several people at a sell-out event waiting in the lobby to be shown to the meeting room. All of which were high in energy, welcoming and engaging. 

Now I have a confession to make. Please forgive me…

For the first time in my life, I entered a room being the minority, surrounded by a different race.

It was my first experience of feeling the “odd one out” and uncomfortable to mix with people “who are not my kind”. For years I would hear my Muslim friends say exactly the same but I shrugged this off as I didn’t believe it to be true. 

Wow! I am enlightened. I never thought I would feel this way. It wasn’t until I was put in a situation (which is not common for many) that it challenged my thoughts and beliefs. 

I do have an unconscious bias. 

Within seconds I reflected on how I made friends, who I spend time within work, how I network and communicate.

I quickly jotted down on my notepad – “I must make a conscious effort to reverse my behaviour to be more inclusive.”

The rest of the day unravelled with many more learnings. 

To prevent this from being a book, I will share my highlights.

Dr. Tunde Okewale MBE, Doughty Chambers opened the 4-panel discussion on “Leadership, why inclusion matters” with a tremendous analogy (that I will cite at my own speaking events). He explained that a standing ovation happens when one, or several people stand up to create a movement, in this case clapping. Eventually, this will have a ripple effect in the audience, as more and more people stand up inspired, until those at the back of the room, have no other choice but to stand up to see. 

It takes one person to stand up, to create change, and others will follow. 

This is applicable to any change. The actionable advice was to not wait for someone else to do it, you can be the one or few, who start the ovation. 

Oh, I was inspired! 

His top tips for leadership are:

  1. Do not make an excuse – be an example.
  2. Don’t ask, the answer will always be no – put yourself in positions others are not yet doing so, to speak on their behalf.
  3. When rejected, take no as a question, not an answer – learn to apply yourself better.
  4. If you never take a step forward, you will remain in the same place – make changes to get different results.
  5. Tough times do not last, but tough people do – learn to love problems and failures, you will grow.
  6. Things do not happen quickly, they happen suddenly – lay the foundations and growth will come.  

Following Dr. Tunde Okewale on the panel was Ololade Adesanya, Director at EY Financial Services, Professor Jane Harrington, Deputy Vice-Chancellor, UWE and Margot Day, Global Director for Risk and Commercial Law, Buro Happold Limited.

The fair summary combining these 3 talented leaders who happen to be female, strongly agreed that despite being told they will find it difficult to be a mother and be in leadership, had a burning desire to prove they can be both and exceed expectations. 

Women can be in demanding roles, parent and be a leader.

Regardless of what barriers are in your way, you can still achieve. Ololade sees barriers as hurdles, therefore she can climb over them and encourages others to do the same. 

“Being authentic got me ahead, not acting like what is expected” championed Margot Day. Each panel member agreed on being true to yourself, believing in your message and delivering it. This will help eliminate the next big challenge they were faced with – imposter syndrome. 

A staggering 70% of people suffer from imposter syndrome. It is worth noting that the whole panel at some point in their lives suffered from imposter syndrome, feeling they should not be at the table because they were not good enough. 

The majority of the speakers do not have a privileged background, yet they stuck to the fundamentals of leadership and achieved their passion. They fully understand that it was never luck that got them where they are, it was the sheer determination that created their path. 

Before heading into the Q&A, I was already on the edge of my seat and writing notes enthusiastically. This advice was golden. 

As a young female, with a working-class background, scraping by at university living with massive passion for change in her heart, I had been awakened to the potential of being on a Board as long as I followed the leadership fundamentals. 

Hell yeah. I am ready! The world is ready! Let’s go…….until these dashes of realism were discussed.

Are young people getting the support they need to move into leadership?

Both Professor Jane Harrington and Conroy Grizzle, UWE lecturer and coach agree that schools need to do more to prepare students with a growth mindset. Whilst some schools do this, they are completely outbalanced by those who do not. 

Conroy later went on to deliver the leadership mindset which echoed a lot of the panel and speakers throughout the day. He leaves a unique spin on leadership mindset, that you can think yourself into a role – by feeling and imagining you already are, will eradicate having to sell yourself as ready or capable. After all, confidence is built upon repetition and cultivating competence. But he makes is very clear that you must have the will and desire in order to succeed. 

Why has it not changed and are we ready yet?

Firstly, we are in different times now, whereby we are comfortable to have uncomfortable conversations. The standing ovation is happening with a smaller number of people but it is just that, a small number. To keep up the momentum, we must be proactive to drive change.

You know what is coming next…

Of course, we are not ready. This is why Kalpna Woolfe and her team are on a mission to make a change. There will be hurdles to climb over, but we must stand-up now, take action, no matter how small or insignificant that may seem today. Otherwise, we stay still and will be waiting for change for longer.

There are tremendous benefits for EVERYONE when it comes to diversity. Supporting change will improve our economy, the environment and our community. 

To me, this is a huge win-win. I want to, and get to grow my leadership skills at pace. At the same time, I have also made the commitment to support diversity in leadership, by working with BeOnBoard to unlock my greatest potential and inspire others to do the same.

The final push was from our last speaker, Marvin Rees, Mayor of Bristol.

I must shamefully admit, I did not know who the Bristol Mayor was. He is certainly not the old short white male I had in mind. Once again I had made an assumption. 

Damn you unconscious bias. 

Marvin made me smile from ear to ear, ignited a fire in my belly and grow taller in my seat as he said

“be bold and take a hand up when you’ve been given one”

From this day forward I am making significant changes.

I will be ruthless, yet true to myself. 

I will voice my views, without shouting over another. 

I will be proactive with all that I do.

I will listen and learn, without judgement. 

I will empower others, leading by example.

I will be accepting of others, building an inclusive and diverse team.

My website has been updated with this new value:

Diversity & Inclusivity

the principles guiding how we build our teams, cultivate leaders and create a company that’s the right fit for every person inside of it.

What are you going to do differently?

Even if you feel “the odd one out” and “not good enough” to be in leadership, think again. It is absolutely possible because all the leaders at BeOnBoard proved it can happen. Be true to yourself and beyond any doubt or hurdles, keep delivering your message. Whilst there is a movement for diversity in leadership, we have a long way to go. Join the standing ovation; start by implementing change in your personal life, in your business and in your community. 

We are all accountable for positive change.

Connect with BeOnBoard to discover what you can do to strengthen Bristol and the world we live in. 

 

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Tammy Whalen Blake

Tammy Whalen Blake

Founder of go to yellow
Personal Development Coach

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The Change Model

The Change Model

The Change Model

The Change Model

It’s important we understand where people come from in relation to making changes to their lifestyle that will improve their health. There is a very well-established model for this called the Stages of Change.

The Stages of Change model describes the different stages we go through when we want to change something in our lives.

Know that people can vary in the stage for different circumstances. For example, a person might be in the Action phase for improvement in their career, can also be in Precontemplation phase for smoking. While the time a person can stay in each stage is variable, the tasks required to move to the next stage are not. Those who practise change often, tend to naturally self-improve in all areas of life. A habit worth pursuing. 

It takes conscious effort to keep evolving and challenging yourself, as over time circumstances change. For example, today you may be focused on developing your career – focusing on the behaviours to amplify your success. In 5 years’ time, you become a parent – your previous behaviours such as working away from home might be adjusted to spend time with your newborn.  

6 Stages of Change

  1. Precontemplation – Not Ready

This is the first stage of change. In this stage, people do not have a desire to take action in the near future (within the next 6 months). These people are usually unaware of their behaviours causing problems for their situation. They tend to be oblivious, unwilling to discover or take responsibility for their actions. People in this stage underestimate the benefits of changing their behaviour but rather focus on the negatives of changing behaviour.

2. Contemplation – Getting Ready

In this stage, people aspire to begin the behaviour change in the near future (within the next 6 months). These people have recognised that their behaviour may be troublesome, and are thinking of the benefits of changing the behaviour, along with the negative impact. Even though they have recognised the behaviours as a problem, they may still feel doubtful of changing.

3. Preparation (Determination) – Ready

In this stage, people are ready and keen to take action soon (within the next 30 days). They prepare themselves by making adjustments, usually in small steps, and they believe changing their behaviour can lead to a more fulfilling and healthier life.

4. Action 

In this stage, the behaviour has changed (within the last 6 months) and people make a conscious effort to keep moving forward with the behaviour change. 

5. Maintenance 

In this stage, people have for a new habit as they’ve been performing the change for a while (more than 6 months). They maintain the behaviour change moving forward. People in this stage work to prevent relapsing.

6. Termination 

In this stage, people are confident in their new behaviour and have no desire to return to their unhealthy behaviours. These people tend to not relapse. Since this uncommon for many, people are most likely to stay in the maintenance stage. You do not see promotional material or marketing for people in these stages. 

 

In order to progress through the stages, people apply different processes: cognitive, affective, and evaluative. 

There have been 10 processes of change identified, with some being more relevant to a specific stage of change than others. 

 

The below processes require different strategies that help with making and maintain change.

Cognitive and Affective Experiential Processes

  1. Consciousness Raising (Get the Facts) – Increasing awareness about the behaviour.
  2. Dramatic Relief (Pay Attention to Feelings) – Emotional arousal about the behaviour, whether positive or negative.
  3. Self-Reevaluation (Notice Your Effect on self) – Self re-appraisal to realise the behaviour is part of who they want to be.
  4. Environmental Re-evaluation (Notice Your Effect on Others) – Social re-appraisal to realise how their unhealthy behaviour affects others.
  5. Social Liberation (Notice Public Support) – Environmental opportunities that exist to show society is supportive of the behaviour.

Behavioural Processes

  1. Self-Liberation (Make a Commitment)– Commitment to change behaviour based on the belief that achievement of the behaviour is possible.
  2. Helping Relationships (Get Support) – Finding supportive relationships that encourage the desired change.
  3. Counter-Conditioning (Use Substitutes) – replacing poor behaviours and thoughts for healthier behaviours and thoughts.
  4. Reinforcement Management (Use Rewards) – Rewarding positive behaviour and reducing the rewards that come from negative behaviour.
  5. Stimulus Control (Manage Your Environment) – Re-engineering the environment to have reminders and cues that support and encourage the new empowering behaviour and remove those that encourage the unhealthy behaviour.

Ready to take the leap into personal growth? 

Let me help you move through the change model to realise your potential.  I will give you 30 minutes of my time free of charge and, in return, you will give me an open mind to explore yourselves deeper. I would like you to feel what it’s like to get clarity and see the impact it makes to your personal development. 

Schedule your call here https://gotoyellow.co.uk/schedule-a-call/ and let’s craft the life you desire most

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Tammy Whalen Blake

Tammy Whalen Blake

Founder of go to yellow
Personal Development Coach

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Art of Fulfilment

Art of Fulfilment

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WHAT’S THE KEY TO FULFILLMENT?

Tony Robbins, a world authority on leadership psychology and the number 1 life and business strategist, created the Art of Fulfilment by sharing insights into mastering 2 important lessons to an epic life.  

Starting with the science of achievement which can be understood by the three forces of creation; focus, massive action and grace. However this is only half the story of success.

To be wholly fulfilled, not just from achievement, you must also live a rich life (not the financial kind). This goes beyond success. It can be achieved by finding what makes you yellow, contributing to lasting happiness.

 

MASTERING THE SCIENCE OF ACHIEVEMENT

Achievement is defined as a thing done successfully with effort, skill, or courage. Tony describes these as the following three forces. Without these, the Art of Fulfilment is difficult if you haven’t achieved anything.

 

FORCE 1: FOCUS

Fueling your focus requires desire and hunger, without this you will be unable to progress to the end. By channelling the power of clarity and commitment, results in making something happen. Activating your Reticular Activating System (RAS) allows for energy to flow to the desired success.

FORCE 2: MASSIVE ACTION

If you’re not moving forwards with the current tactics, it is time to change. Keep trying and trying, until you have mastered the task at hand. Just like learning to ride a bike, if you fall off, do you keep trying or do you give up? The best way to do this is find someone who has mastered the same task and model them. This allows for you to learn at pace than doing it alone. Learn from someone else mistakes and failures.

FORCE 3: GRACE

Some call this the “lucky”, “fortunate” or “the universe is talking to you”, whatever you want to call it, the fact is that there are times when something beyond our control happens, this is grace. Being open and accepting to grace allows for a better understanding of giving back, this is another key factor in fulfilment.

CREATING A RICH AND FULL LIFE

We have seen many people in the public eye who have a very successful career, lots of financial freedom and a fun-filled lifestyle however they remain unhappy. We view them as successful but what they aren’t, is fulfilled. If something is familiar to you, the more use you are to it, the less appreciative you become. You have the power to change this. With the right help, go to yellow can guide you to truly live a rich and full life.

UNDERSTANDING THE ART OF FULFILLMENT

To repeat the introductory message – To be wholly fulfilled, not just from achievement, you must also live a rich (not meaning financial) life. This goes beyond success. You need to live your best life possible. This can be achieved by finding what makes you feel yellow, resulting in lasting happiness.

Our minds are programmed to find faults and failures, this mindset can be altered by appreciation, instead of living in your familiarity and having expectations. Practising gratitude daily or seeking the positive in any given situation has improved successful in reaching fulfilment. Appreciate the little things such as your child looking directly into your eyes as they speak, that they want to fully connect with you or the text message from your partner wishing good night, they’ve taken the time to let you know they love you and are thinking of you. The energy that radiates your being will be infectious – people will feel the appreciation and often than not, repeat the act.

Science of achievement + Art of Fulfilment = Yellow!

 

Ready to go deeper on this topic with the master of personal development, Tony Robbins? 

Purchase one of his top selling books on personal achievement: Unlimited Power

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Tammy Whalen Blake

Founder of go to yellow
Personal Development Coach

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Healthy Boundaries are your friends

Healthy Boundaries are your friends

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Tired of being a yes person? Saying yes to everyone else but yourself. 

Understand that boundaries are about your relationship with yourself and your values, and that they shouldn’t be so unsettled.

Setting healthy boundaries is crucial for self-care and understanding your identity. Whether in work or in our personal relationships, poor boundaries lead to resentment, anger and burnout. 

Here is how to be more yellow with setting boundaries…

Know your boundaries

These are your values. Boundaries are representative of how much or little you respect yourself. Notice how you feel – if stressed, resentful or angry, your values have been taken advantage of. Physical boundaries include your body, sense of personal space and sexual orientation. Emotional boundaries include beliefs, behaviours, choices, sense of responsibility, and your ability to be intimate with others.

You can’t change others, so change yourself

Since you can’t change other people, change how you deal with them. They may be motivated to change if their old ways no longer work. Remain firm! 
For example, dealing with those who emotionally blackmail to get what they want. Start declining the workload, and eventually they will stop asking. Over time you will handle your emotional responses better. 

Let your behaviour, not your words, speak for you

Your boundaries will be tested. Decide what the consequences are and stick to it. Don’t present them with an ultimatum. For example, “During work hours, I will not look at my mobile phone to avoid unnecessary distractions. If you get in touch, I will contact you later in the day”

Other examples of consequences are:

  • Time Management – “If you are not on time, I will leave in my own car. I can meet you at the venue”
  • Money – “If you spend over our budget, I will withdraw my money and use a separate account”
  • Repaying debts – “until I see you making efforts to pay me back, I will no longer lend you money”
  • Family Time – “I would love to bring your grandchildren to see you, but if you prefer to watch TV during their visit, it’s best we visit another time”
  • Relationship Conflict – “to keep our children safe from the alcohol abuse, we will move out of the house until you have control of your addiction”

Communicate

You can have the most healthy set of boundaries but if you do not communicate them clearly, you are going to create some really confusing relationships, both for you and everyone else involved. Be direct if necessary. 

We conceal our true feelings because we’re scared of people’s reactions. The more you ground yourself with your boundaries and values, the more you’ll be able to be very clear in your communication. 

You’ll know you’re getting healthier when this doesn’t get an emotional reaction out of you. When your boundaries are your core beliefs, you will not get riled up if you are tested.

Ready to discover your values? 

Let me help you discover your values.  I will give you 30 minutes of my time free of charge and, in return, you will give me an open mind to explore yourselves deeper.  Once you know your code of conduct, you will be better able to communicate them and set boundaries.

Schedule your call here https://gotoyellow.co.uk/schedule-a-call/ and let’s create a mental environment where you put your needs first. 

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Tammy Whalen Blake

Tammy Whalen Blake

Founder of go to yellow
Mindset & Personal Development Coach