“You’re a failure!”

“You can’t do that!”

“Don’t bother, you’ll never be good enough!”

Do these phrases sound familiar? Do you hear these words often? How does it make you feel to hear such negative things about yourself? The words that spring to mind are demoralising, demotivating, sad, to name a few.

Who is it that is saying these things to you? Well, I would bet that you’re the only one saying them.

I think anyone would be hard-pressed to say that they had never criticised themselves or talked themselves down; in fact, I can guarantee that most people are their own worst critics.

But, how have we become so disillusioned with our own value and self-worth? 

The problem at play here is the classic ‘Imposter Syndrome’. Think about it, would you talk to a friend or colleague with the same disdain? So, why treat yourself in this way? There has to be a reason for it as we aren’t born to not believe in ourselves.

Imposter syndrome is a psychological issue where those who are experiencing it are fearful that they will be exposed as being a fraud, even when they are totally competent or experienced in what it is that they do. It’s a total lack of self-confidence in yourself and your abilities.

Have you ever played down your achievements or accomplishments? Do you feel that your successes ‘just happened’ at the right time or there were other people involved that you could attribute the glory to? Do you feel like you aren’t worthy of praise or acknowledgement? How about the job roles you haven’t applied for because you don’t have confidence in your abilities, even though you trained for such positions?

These thoughts and feelings can all be classified in the Imposter Syndrome bracket; but what is the impact of continuing to let yourself feel this way?

A lack of confidence will undoubtedly hold you back from achieving your dreams. It will stop you from progressing in your career. It could even stop you from enjoying life and everything that comes with it. These will have a lasting and damaging impact on you and your wellbeing.

What is it that has given you this false belief that you simply aren’t good enough or you’re not up to the grade? Was it a bad experience that you’ve had that knocked you down? Was it society telling you that you aren’t good enough? Did you get to where you are through hard work without the grades? Whatever it is, it’s stopping you from living your best life!

Do you think all of those successful people woke up one day and became who they are overnight? They probably feel nervous about new ventures, just like the rest of us but they don’t succumb to their brain telling them to stay away from the risks. 

Imposter syndrome is essentially your brain playing tricks on you, probably stemming from the good old ‘fight or flight’ response to uncertain situations. We don’t have to run from gigantic dinosaurs any more but in some parts, our brains haven’t caught up with this evolution yet and so it keeps on telling us to play it safe. 

But, playing it safe isn’t going to land you your dream job or the best fun of your life. It isn’t going to bring forth the opportunities you need to inspire you and drive you forward towards realising your goals. Playing it safe will merely keep you where you are, stagnant and scared.